Teen Wolf 3x05 Rant

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*****SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN 3X05 DO NOT READ*****

Holy fucking jesus. As you guys know me quite well by now, I'm sure you already suspect what my reaction to this episode was. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like, I try not to curse too much (haha yeah right) but the only words I can use are WHAT THE FUCK, and HOW THE FUCK COULD THEY DO THAT TO US, and HOLY SHIT I WAS CRYING FOR A WHOLE HOUR STRAIGHT! But actually, from the minute Scott said "I can't believe Derek's dead" - no even before that, when Isaac and Boyd were talking, I began to cry. Because my precious (said in a total Lord of the Rings Smeegle voice), my baby, the love of my life, Derek Hale, was dead. Literally, my life could not have gotten any more pathetic. I jumped up in bed, screamed so loudly that my aunt then proceeded to give me a ten minute lecture on why I shouldn't scream like that because she thought I was being raped, and then burst into tears. While the episode just moved on, not really elaborating on THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO THE WORLD SINCE THE LOSS OF MICHAEL JACKSON, I simply could not. Derek? Dead? Impossible. Derek is too perfect, too amazing, too gorgeous and hot and just the best guy I've ever (not) met, that they just could not kill him off. It would be too much for my heart. Luckily, the last maybe ten seconds of the episode proved that Derek was actually alive, albeit barely. But seriously - WHAT THE FUCK MTV?!!?!? I spent a solid hour crying, screaming at my laptop, and then crying some more. When they showed the flashback scene of Derek falling down two levels into that stairwell or whatever, I actually felt a physical pain in my chest. I had my hands clenched in my hair, and I was shaking my head back and forth yelling "No, Derek" over and over again through my sobs. And they were real sobs. Like I cried so hard I'm pretty sure if my aunt were to have walked in again, she would have had me committed. Because I sobbed like Derek was my very own boyfriend, or my brother, or even my dad. That's how sad I was (and still am - I'm crying while I write this). But now that I know Derek's actually alive and they were just toying with our emotions, I AM PISSED! Not fucking cool, whoever-writes-Teen-Wolf. They took Jackson away? Sure, okay. Killed off Erica? I mean I miss her, but yeah fine. Pretended to kill Derek? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THREATENING MY HUSBAND'S LIFE?!?! Like no. Fuck no. I'm not okay with that. But at least he's not dead...that would have been too much. I would've had to kill some bitches tonight if that had happened. And for those of you who may be interested, there are only two other scenes in TV shows when I cried this hard: When Bobby died in Supernatural and when Alaric died (the first time, with the whole tomb scene) in Vampire Diaries. That's how high this episode ranked on my Crying Hall of Fame. But anyway, if you're bored of hearing me rant about Derek (although really, what else even happened in this episode???) I shall now move on to the rest of 3x05. 

First of all, let me just say that I fucking love Coach Finstock. Like this guy almost made me smile through my tears. Because he's just so hilarious. And him + Stiles? Priceless. Speaking of Stiles, his concern for Scott was just touching in this episode. And Scott's grief over Derek's death made me cry even more. Same with Boyd & Isaac trying to avenge Derek's death on Ethan? And HOLY CRAP ETHAN AND DANNY!!! I THINK MY HEART ACTUALLY GREW THREE SIZES LIKE THE GRINCH!!! That was unbelievably cute. Like I could not ship anyone more. They are TOO CUUTE. And I love how Danny immediately helped Ethan after Isaac beat him up. Personally, I'm glad Isaac did it. Now don't get me wrong - since the Season 3 premiere, I've been IN LOVE with the twins, as you know from the very first line of my very first rant. But the only thing stronger than my love for Ethan and Aiden is my love for Derek. And those fuckers damn near killed my boyfriend, so they needed to die. Painfully. And what's up with Scott practically commanding Isaac to stop? And his red eyes in the flashback? Does anyone hear not suble hints that Scotts an Alpha/becoming one? Uh YEAH.  

And I was actually wishing death upon everyone in the world after I found out Derek was dead. My heart was just too broken :( But anyway, another thing that actually changed for this episode dramatically was Allison. I've been pissed off by her since episode one, but when I realized she actually saved Derek (and Scott and whatever), I felt this enormous surge of...respect? Like for once, Allison was in the right place at the right time. So congrats, girl. You're no longer on my Hate List. But you know who is? ENNIS. That bitch ass mother fucker nearly killed my baby Derek, and for that I relish the scene where Deucalion killed him. Yes, it was gross and creepy and made me freaking terrifed of the Alpha's Alpha, but I was smiling like Hannibal Lecter as I watched him die. Although it technically wasn't his fault that Derek died, he was mostly responsible. But how cute was it that Scott felt he was responsible for Derek's death? That also made me sad. Like, Scott and Derek's relationship has come so far since Season one...YOU CAN'T KILL DEREK HE'S WAY TOO FUCKING IMPORTANT! Like if I'm being totally honest...I would rather anyone else on the show die than Derek. They could slash Allison's throat and I'd probably just gasp and frown a bit. Shoot Lydia in the head? Eh, she'll be missed. Beat Boyd to death? Awww, no, but okay. Strangle Scott? Too far, bitches, too far. But I'll live. Drown Stiles? HELL NO...I'm crying but barely alive. Brutally murder Isaac? I'm on the verge of suicide. Drop Derek down two stories and a set of stairs? BITCH I WILL FUCK YOU UP. I'M DEAD. YOU JUST KILLED ME. YOU HAPPY?

But oops, I got sidetracked again. Um, oh yeah and I loved seeing a little Uncle-Neice time with Peter and Cora Hale. It was an interesting pair, and now I see where she gets her spunk from! Also, what the hell is up with the guidance counselor? Like since when was she so involved in all this? Deaton, you need to get her shit together! And is he actually her older brother? Or was she just saying that? Agh, still too many questions. Another thing I noticed in this episode was how hot the twins are. Lol I know I say this every time, but they just blow my pants off - literally. I get wayyy too hot watching them walk on screen shirtless and angry looking. I just...I can't even. It's too much for me. Oh and also - how FREAKIN ADORABLE are Lydia and Aiden? I thought that was cute. Not to mention hot and steamy ;) But um, I think that's it! The main thing I got from this episode was...I thought Derek was dead. For a whole hour. Thinking back, how did I even keep breathing, let alone watching? I guess after the lecture I got from my aunt, I figured I should at least finish the episode so I could rant to you guys about it. So here you are! The inner workings of my psychotic brain :)

And now, onto something new that I wanted to try. I want to share with you guys a series of gifs that will demonstrate just what my reaction was to certain things I talked about in this rant. 

Finding out Derek's dead:

1) http://cdn01.cdnwp.thefrisky.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/29/Freak-Out-Gif.gif 

2) http://data.whicdn.com/images/31866530/tumblr_m6ijbycBwn1rsrbj9_large.gif

3) http://25.media.tumblr.com/d3b67dff3ce86d3a3a6ba58ee7d531c6/tumblr_mnvq75e6rr1s86vvmo1_400.gif

4) http://images.wikia.com/glee/images/7/7a/NO_GOD_PLEASE_NO.gif

Finding out Derek's not actually dead:

1) http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsyw15zXoN1qbq017o1_500.gif

2) http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121105205238/glee/images/3/37/83701_Oh_my_God_Thank_God.gif

3) http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_le6o7dq67z1qbpn58.gif

Danny and Ethan:

1) http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8rop9RHo01qhk6l1.gif

2) http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llk8ikXkKS1qbz6nq.gif

3) http://img.pandawhale.com/53914-Supernatural-gif-7AML.gif

Seeing Derek fall into the pit with Ennis: 

http://24.media.tumblr.com/2bd61efca46be319414f89ff5dd186e4/tumblr_miyfwxIOly1s5098lo1_500.gif

Lydia and Aiden hooking up: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m81b4mLcZi1qcwic6.gif

And as always, my reaction every time the twins come on screen: 

http://images.wikia.com/victorious/images/1/15/Demi_scream.gif

So my fellow Teen Wolf fans, I sincerely hope I didn't scare you off with my intense rant tonight lol but I just had a lot of feels and...yeah. So let me know in the comments what you thought of tonight's episode, and if you like the gif thing or no! I had fun picking them out lol. But anyway to sum up - life as I knew it ended when I thought Derek was dead, and then I exploded into anger and happiness when I realized he was alive. The rest of the episode was pretty blah in comparison to that, because I was so broken and sad that I couldn't really appreciate it. But don't worry - now that I know Derek's not actually dead, I'm going to go back and rewatch it. So until next monday my lovelies! xoxoxo goodnight

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