Hurt Me No Longer (Sequel to "Bully Me No More")

8

*ROC*

When I stepped into the nursery I saw Rain staring blankly at the crib, her eyes red and puffy. My heart broke a little, I always hated the thought of Rain crying.

"Baby." I called to her. "Rain."

Still I got no reaction. I went and sat by her.

"Do you ever miss it?" She asked me quietly.

I nodded, but wished we could have stayed silent. The topic was something I never wanted brought up, it hurt me too much.

"Do you blame me?" She continued.

"Never."

"You should."

"Why?"

My eyes stared hard at her, begging her silently to turn her head, I just wanted her to stop looking at our empty crib.

"Because it was my fault. I knew my mom would have nothing good to say, but I chose to go and talk to her anyways."

I grabbed her hand and she still didn't pull her eyes away from the crib.

"Rain. I could never blame you for this ok? NEVER and don't try and make me. I believe it happened for a reason... I'm not sure what reason, but there was one. I have to believe that."

"It was God's way of saying I'm a horrible person and I'm not ready to be a mom. It was his way of telling me I should abort this one, or give it away."

My eyes popped open and I tightened my grip on her hand.

"What are you talking about? THIS ONE?"

Finally she let her eyes meet mine and her expression softened.

"I'm pregnant Roc." She said so quiet that I almost couldn't hear.

My eyes locked on her stomach and I smiled.

"Rain, you can't really think you could get an abortion...or put it up for adoption."

She shrugged and her expression hardened again. "I don't deserve it."

My heart literally hurt when she said that. Her words killed me. No one in this world deserved to have a baby more than Rain. After all she'd been through with me, and just in general she deserved something to call her own, some piece of my love for her.

"Don't you dare say that! You deserve so much Rain! Why can't you see what an amazing person you are!?" I almost yelled.

She shook her head vigorously and bit her lip, fighting back more tears.

"Roc I can't do this."

"Yes Rain. We can and we will do this right."

"Ok." Was all she said.

For hours we sat in silence together quietly crying as we stared at the crib, after what felt like an eternity it was her who was dragging me from the room. I couldn't remember the last time I cried like that, but I knew I didn't want it happening ever again.

When I broke my trance it was dark outside and I was laying in bed with Rain wiping tears from under my eyes.

"I love you." She whispered in my ear.

I pulled her onto me and wrapped my arms around her.

"I love you more."

I kissed her forehead and then moved her so that she was beside me again. I lifted her shirt and layed my head on her stomach. I shut my eyes and whispered things so quietly that Rain couldn't hear. Only I and the baby would know what was said.

"She's ganna be an amazing mommy. She's ganna love you more than anyone else...except me of course."

I smiled at the feeling of Rain's fingers playing with my curls.

"And she's ganna mess with your hair too. And she's ganna be over protective because she's ganna love you so so much. I promise to keep her happy and I promise I'll do whatever I can to get you out here." My eyes started to close. "I love you." I whispered before falling asleep.

~~THE NEXT MORNING~~

I moved from Rain's stomach and looked at her to see she was already awake.

"Ugh. I thought you'd never wake. You and your big headed self." She laughed.

I moved up back to a regular level and kissed her neck.

"But you love this big headed guy, do you not?"

She smiled and pulled me close. "I do. I do."

My grin was from ear to ear. It was a huge relief to say Rain's bright hastle eyes all normal and clear rather than the red eyed red nosed Rain I came home to yesterday.

"I hope the baby gets your eyes." I told her.

"I hope the baby gets your curls."

"I hope the baby gets your lips."

She laughed and raised an eyebrow, something that drove me crazy.

"What? Why?"

"Because." I moved closer to her. "You have pretty lips."

"I do?"

I nodded and kissed her, my hands around her back. She laughed and pulled away.

"You need to go to work."

I kissed her shoulder repeatedly.

"Or I could stay."

She shook her head.

"No. You should go, and I've been thinking , maybe I should get one, just until I can't work anymore."

I frowned and shook my head. I didn't want her working, I wanted to support her financially and we planned on her being a stay at home mom.

"No baby, you don't need to."

She shrugged. "I know I don't need to. I want to, it's so boring without something to do."

I understood where she was coming from so I decided I was ok with it. "Just nothing with long hours and nothing too stressful alright?"

"Mmk."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

She pecked me on the lips and went towards the bathroom door.

"Get ready for work." She told me.

"Yes ma'am." I laughed.

She shut the door and I smiled like an idiot. She was pregnant again and I had another chance to be a dad, I always wanted to be, so I could be a better father than my dad was. Even before he left my mom he was never really there for me, physically or emotionally.