You're the risk I'm willing to take

Chapter 7

"I'm serious, Bella. I feel comfortable around you. And I'm here for you."

Alice looked at me, and I squeezed her hand. I heard Angela go upstairs, giving us more privacy.

"I just wish I had gone over to you instead."

I looked down at my lap, thinking.

"So do I. But, we'll get through this together, OK?"

I looked up at her. I could see she meant it. I wasn't comfortable with physical contact, so her being next to me was enough. She seemed to realise this and didn't move any closer. I was still holding her hand, that was all I felt OK with.

"I can't believe you actually became a teacher after that. Knowing you'd be around guys. What made you take the job here?"

Alice ran her hand through her hair, another thing I noticed she did when she was nervous.

"I didn't realise who Mitch was until I found out more about him. Chase wasn't from here. I had already taken the job, when I realised. Then I met you and well......."

She was watching me, as she spoke.

"Yeah, I couldn't believe it when you kissed me."

That made her smile. She was letting me decide what we talked about, she didn't want to upset me. I knew she wanted to know exactly what happened, but was afraid of asking.

"I was amazed I wasn't freaking out at how close we were. I don't like close contact, so kissing you ............. It took a lot."

This I knew. I knew that I needed to let her decide how close we got.

"Yeah, I noticed your little nervous twitches. Like running you hand through your hair."

She was doing that as I spoke, and stopped. She looked at me, not saying anything.

"I'm pretty good at reading peoples body language, and you're pretty easy to read. Although, I never could have imagined that someone like you could have gone through something so horrible."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She looked at me, she had stopped running her hand through her hair and she was watching me.

"I mean ............ You're ............ You're, well, you. You're sweet, caring, kind. You love teaching. You could've lied when I walked up to your desk, but you didn't. You admitted that you like me, although the reason why is something I can't seem to figure out. I mean, I just an 18 year old senior."

I had been looking down at my lap, as I spoke. I raised my head, to see Alice looking at me with her arms crossed. I could see she was trying to look annoyed, but she just looked adorable.

"Looking at me like that, doesn't work. You just look adorable."

She shook her head, smiling.

"Bella, you're beautiful. You're funny, sweet, caring, kind. And I'm going to let that adorable comment slide, I'm far from adorable. Sure, I never thought I'd be dating someone 5 years younger and my student, but I'm glad I met you."

She was trying to lighten the mood. I shook my head.

"Looking at me like that, doesn't exactly help."

She didn't say anything, she just squeezed my hand. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. Alice spoke, breaking the silence between us.

"Bella, I"

"I was getting ready to leave, and went to the bathroom. I closed the door behind me, and leaned against the door. I hadn't seen Mitch at the party and thought it was weird. I stood up, and the door opened. Kevin doesn't have locks on any doors. Mitch walked in, he said something about me avoid him and something about how I dumped him and now I'm gay. I could see he was angry and before I could do anything, he hit me, and I fell. Angela ran in, when he was on top of me. Eric bet the crap out of him, and Angela called my dad. Mitch was arrested, and my dad brought Angela and I home."

Alice didn't say anything, but I could see she was shaking. She had let go of my hand. I know what had happened to me was terrible, but Angela had walked in before he could go that far. Alice had actually gone through that. I took a deep breath, and decided that she was more important than me.

"Hey, come here."

She looked at me, not sure what I meant. I lifted my arm, letting her know she could come closer.

"I'm OK, Bella. Really, it's"

"I'm waiting."

She didn't move, thinking. I could see that she was biting her lip. She took a deep breath and moved closer. She sat next to me, but I didn't put my arm around her. I knew she wasn't exactly comfortable with all this, but neither was I. She went through more than I did, though.

"Are you OK?"

She looked up at me, I could see she was nervous.

"I'm OK around you. Hearing that just made me think about........"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

She shook her head.

"I wanted to ask, anyway. I couldn't handle anything like this, is this"

"Alice Brandon, you are one of very few people that I feel comfortable around. I'm more worried about how you're feeling."

I was telling the truth. I don't know what happened, but I was really concerned about her.

"Bella, don't worry about me. You're the one I'm"

"What did I just say? I'm OK around you. I feel safe around you."

She seemed to accept that, and relaxed a little.

"Before I met you, I couldn't handle anyone but my family being this close to me. But, when I met you ........... I felt OK with having you close to me. Like that time on the couch, I usually wouldn't be OK with that. But, it felt good when you were next to me. I wanted to move closer but, I wasn't sure how you'd react."

"I wanted to do the same, pixie. But, I didn't want to make you nervous."

She looked away, and I felt noticed she was tense.

"I can tell you're uncomfortable, you know."

She looked up at me, shaking her head.

"It's not that. I'm just trying to figure out, why I didn't talk you out of that party. Then, that wouldn't have happened."

oh no, she was NOT blaming herself for this.

"Oh, you are not going to blame yourself for this. It's Mitch's fault."

Alice moved away, a little. But stayed on the couch.

"I can't help it, baby. I was so worried when you didn't come over, did you see my messages?"

I shook my head.

"I haven't checked my phone. Angela wasn't sure if she should call you, but I told her I wanted to see you."

She nodded, and I noticed my phone on the table. Angela must have left it there. I picked it up and noticed a few messages from Alice. They started out OK, asking me if I was OK. But, I could see that she was getting worried as I read them. I looked up, and noticed she was watching me.

"I didn't notice them. Sorry."

She shrugged.

"I thought you weren't feeling well. I never expected this."

I remembered what Angela had said when she called Alice.

"Yeah, Angela said something about you talking about the party, when she called you."

"Yeah, along with a string of profanities."

I just looked at her. She noticed the way I was watching her and blushed.

"Angela didn't mention that, did she?"

I shook my head. I still felt horrible about what happened, but being around Alice made me feel almost normal. It would take time, but things would get back to normal.

"No. She didn't."