The F1 Queen: A Women In A Man's World.

Part 17: A Night To Remember

I sat there, staring past his eyes, trying to read his thoughts. What where his intentions? He had a firm grip on my shoulders, which made me feel surprisingly safe. He nudged me a little, noticing I had lost focus a little bit. "Nikki?" He said my name with such grace, as if it where a beautiful melody, I couldnt help but meet his gaze again, and stare into his eyes, while trying helplessly to find the right words. "I just.........It just.....reminded me of Nico.....-" I couldnt managed anymore without more tears flooding my face, stopping me from continuing any further. Paul sighed, pulling me closer to his warm body, while putting his strong, safe arms around me protectively. "What has he done to you...." He started rocking backwards and forwards as I howled into his chest, dampening his brand new t shirt in the process. My feelings where a mess.....I just didn't know what to feel anymore. And yet here I was, crying helplessly into my supposied best friend's chest and feeling like I should of be doing more....more to make things work between us.

"Paul.....I....." I couldn't finished my sentence......I didn't know how to finish it. At that moment, he pulled me away from his chest and held me almost at arms length, staring into my eyes. "Nikki......you shouldn't allow yourself to be broken and beaten by him......He's not worth it.......I just wish that....*sigh*....I just wish that you knew that you already have someone who cares about you more than life itself...." I couldnt say anything.....I was in shock....did he really mean that he felt that way about me? I saw the sincere look on his face, then his face suddenly turning a shocking bright red colour. I felt like kicking myself. Why hadn't I seen this before? He had stood there proclaiming his love for me a thousand times before and yet I had stupidly ignored it, thinking he only ment in a friendship way. We sat there akwardly for a few moments before finally Paul managed to open his mouth again to speak, all the while my head was kept bent, feeling so guilty and ashamed. "How.......how.......do you feel....Nikki?..." This was totally unfair. To be honest, I knew how I felt....but I didn't want to overwhelm him with my complicated emotions. It wasn't fair on him. But I felt it was about time he knew exactly how I felt. ".....Paul......I.....I.....I love you.....so much. I have dreamed and often fanticised about what it would be like having you by my side in a romantic way....I just didn't act because I was scared......scared that you wouldn't feel the same about me......and then we'd ruin our amazing friendship that I never want to let go of......but I can't help but want it....I want it so much......" Tears spilled down my face as I struggled to finish. Paul clasped me close to his chest again as soon as he saw fresh tears stream down my face. I couldn't believe I had just admitted that to him.....how I was really feeling.......It was just shocking. Before I knew it, Paul had pulled away from me....and oh my gosh.......had pressed his lips softly onto mine, shocking me into paralysis, and making my body shake with a mixture of shock and excitment. It didn't stop there. His hands had some how found there way on my waist and mine had slithered around his neck, locking tightly around him and refusing to let go. I couldnt believe this was fianlly happening.....after years of me friend zoning him; being ignorant enough to ignore his secret and quite obvious desires, finally boiled down to this. And I loved it. Finally as we both reluctently pulled away from each others embrace, he smiled at me and stroked my face lovingly "You know.....I've always wanted to say this to you.....so I am just going to say it.....I love you......" He didnt need to say anymore. And as we kissed passionately, I knew that we would defiantly dance the night away......