Your Love Is A Waiting Game

I'll Never Be The Same

Felicity groaned as she came back to consciousness. It took her a minute to realize she was warm and there was a arm draped across her body. She flinched and began to sit up.

"Hey, it's okay, it's just me," he soothed. She rolled in his arms to face him and snuggled into his chest. He ran a hand through her hair. "You okay?"

"Mmmhmm..."

"Are you going to wake up today?"

"You have anywhere to be?" She mumbled drowsily.

"Absolutely no where," he whispered in her ear making her shiver. He tightened his arms around her waist and she laid there for long minutes basking in how wonderful and domestic they were acting. Her bladder decided to ruin the happiness. She groaned. "What?"

"I have a lemon laying on my bladder." His chest rumbled under her ear. "Why are you laughing?" she questioned as she lifted her head from his chest. He sighed happily.

"The normalcy of it all....it's nice." She smiled. It was nice to know he was feeling the same as she was. She stayed where she was for another minute.

"Oliver?" She asked softly since his eyes were closed.

"Mmm?"

"I really have to pee."

"Go," he stated.

"I can't," she replied. One of his eyes peeked at her. "You have to let go of me first,." He realized then just how tangled they were. He was reluctant to let her go but as soon as he did she bolted to the bathroom.

"Come back!" He called after her. Her lips stretched into a giddy smile.

When she returned he had his arms crossed behind his head and he was very still. She sat on the bed softly as not to wake him just in case he had slipped off again. She observed his face, free of wrinkles, peaceful. Just like that morning.

"What are you thinking?" He asked, eyes still closed, bringing her out of her revere. She thought how amazing it was that he could just feel her thinking.

"About that morning." His eyes flew open then and she smiled sadly. "I can't help but imagine that this is what it would've been like." He took her hand.

"I'm so sorry," he said somberly. She looked up at him.

"It's not your fault," she assured him.

"You have no idea how much I want to remember. I feel like..." He paused and she tilted her head. "I feel like that's what's holding me back. You deserved so much better than that," he finished, his eyes downcast.

"Oliver." She grabbed his chin lightly and his eyes met hers. "You were perfect, that whole night was perfect and I would never, ever change a second of what happened... except maybe the fact that you were drugged into doing it." She chuckled mirthlessly.

"It wasn't the drug Felicity," her head jerked up. "You have no idea how much I've held back."

"What do you mean?" Her brown furrowed.

"Sometimes all I want to do is grab you and kiss you or run my hands through your hair, tuck a strand of hair behind your ear or hold your hand. Simple things for other people but for me, it's difficult. That night I may have been drugged but I did and said exactly what I wanted to. I just wished I would've done those things with you not under the influence of a drug...so you'd believe me. My feelings for you run very deep but I have a hard time showing them."

She nodded and he sat forward.

"I know we already have a baby on the way and that blows normal right out of the water but I want to try. I want to do this right."