Beneath your beautiful. (Josh Cuthbert fan-fiction)

part 22:

Josh's p.o.v:

It's 4:30am in the morning and i haven't slept a wink, not because i can't sleep, but because i don't want to. Who would want to sleep when you have the worlds most beautiful girl in your arms, sleeping? She's so oblivious to how i feel about her, but i don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, i haven't decided yet.

When Ashleigh ran out of the house in tears because of what i had done, i was so pissed off with myself; I ended up beating the shit out of my hand by punching the wall. Now i have split knuckles, it hurts but it doesn't hurt as much as knowing that Ashleigh's hurting, even if she is happy. I know that at the back of her head she is upset and i know she is just covering it up. But i want her to just be fine, i want her to be able to be happy and not have a care in the world.

When she came home with JJ, and then he kissed her cheek and got her number, i was so jealous. Actually that's an understatement, I know JJ doesn't know i like her, it's only Jaymi that knows and i also know that Ashleigh is free to do whatever she wants to, even if that means she can like him too. I want Ashleigh, but if she is happy with JJ and not me, i'm fine with it. I'm not going to stop her from dating him if it makes her happy, it will kill me to watch them date though.

Maybe i should tell Ashleigh how i feel about her? But it's only been a week since i'm not being 'flirty Josh' with her i'm being the real Joshua Cuthbert... i don't want to make her feel like the flirty Josh is back by telling her that i like her... Ashleigh stirs in her sleep once in a while, but she is so peaceful when she sleeps. She looks so angelic and innocent, her chest rising and falling, her hair in perfect place covering her chest, curving over her breasts.

My phone vibrated, JJ. 'Hey, is Ashleigh okay now? She seemed really upset when i found her? What happened? Tell her i hope she is okay, cheers mate.' . Reading this made my fists tighten, making me want to throw my phone out of the window, making me want JJ to just disappear.

***

It's now 8am and i have been awake all night watching Ashleigh sleep, is that pedoish? I hope not because i didn't mean it like that, i don't it because when she sleeps in my arms, and she is happy, it's better than my dreams. Does that sound cheesy? I don't know but it is the truth and i don't care what anyone else says. I have fallen for Ashleigh, and i have decided that some day soon, i am going to tell her. I don't know when or where, but i am going to tell her and make sure she knows i do, and she believes it.

Mum stayed out all day, and all my sisters are away on holiday with dad, which means that Ashleigh and I have the house all to ourselves, again. I don't want to go out today, not because i'm tired, but simply because i don't want to, but if Ashleigh wants to go out i will. I will do anything for her, anything. It's Friday today which means i have the weekend with her too, then we have school for three weeks and then it's the summer holidays, we'll have finished school, forever. But i'm going in to college; i know that for sure.

Ashleigh's eyes fluttered open, and she looked directly at me and smiled, which caused the butterflies that have been in my stomach all night to go crazy. I smile back, playing it cool, as she sits up and flattens out her bed hair, which made her look even more sexy. Is it weird to say that i just want to kiss her? I don't know but every time i see her, i just want to place my lips on hers and never let go. When i hug her, i want to stay in that moment forever, but it's over way to quickly and i have to let go. 

"Morning." she spoke, sleepily, her morning voice intact.

"Morning." I reply, smiling at her.

"How long have you been awake?" Ashleigh questioned me looking at her phone, and starts to frown.