invisible {h.s.}

chapter 40

"Ready to go?" I asked and Anna nodded, standing up from the hospital bed.

She adjusted her jeans and jacket before interlocking her cold fingers with mine. We walked out of the hospital room and down the hallway to the waiting area. Julia ran out of Gemma's embrace and straight to Anna. Anna bent down and picked up the two year old, a smile making its way to her face. We walked out of the hospital and to my car. I strapped Julia in to her car seat and made my way around to the drivers side.

"Mommy?" Julia asked a few minutes later and Anna hummed. "Can you make pancakes when we get home?"

"I don't know, only if Daddy helps me." Anna shot me a smirk and I rolled my eyes, a smile tugging at my lips.

"I suppose I can make time for pancakes." I snuck a glance in the rear view mirror and saw Julia smiling.

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"Babe, stop moving." I mumbled and rolled over in bed, slowly opening my eyes to see Anna looking back at me.

"Sorry." She said quietly and I have her look as if asking what was wrong. "I'm not tired."

"Penny for your thoughts." I questioned and she smiled a little as I pulled her closer.

"You've been gone for a while and the day you come home, I end up in the hospital." Anna laughed a little and I toyed with her fingers under the covers. "I missed you, Haz."

"Well, I never have to go away like that again." I smiled a little, happy that all of touring was over. "Now, what can I do to tire you out?"

"I don't even know. There's too much going on in my head right now." She trailed off and I frowned a little before a thought popped into my head.

~Anna~

A look of realization popped onto Harry's face and I furrowed my eyebrows as he rolled on top of me underneath the covers. I was about to ask a question when he shushed me. Harry gave me a small kiss before sliding down my body, trailing kisses in his way. Once at the hem of my underwear, he shot me a wink before tugging my shorts and black underwear down.

"Good idea." I mumbled and he chuckled before gripping my hips.

2 weeks later

I gasped, sitting up in bed, my head throbbing. My chest moved up and down at a rapid pace and my hands shook as I hit Harry's shoulder. He woke up and mumbled something incoherent and rolled over to face me.

"Harry, I can't breathe." I barely got out between choked breaths and he quickly got up, throwing a shirt and shoes on.

I threaded my fingers through my hair, the pain in my temple increasing. Tears pricked my eyes and Harry put a coat over my shoulders before lifting me up bridal style. He rushed out to the car and put me in the passenger seat before running around to the drivers side. He sloppily pulled out of the driveway and sped down the road.

"What hurts?" He asked, frantically looking from me to the deserted road.

"I can't fucking breathe and my head feels like it's going to explode." A few tears fell down my face at the immense pain and Harry grabbed my hand from the center console.

"It's gonna be okay." He tried to reassure but I knew it wasn't.

We pulled into the hospital and Harry parked before picking me up again and carrying me. He quickly walked through the front doors and the receptionist sent for a gurney. They set me down and put a breathing mask on, running down the hallway. Harry ran with them and I pulled the mask off for a moment.

"There's a letter in my bedside drawer." I breathed out and Harry's face fell.

"No, you're gonna be okay, Anna." His voice broke.

"I love you so much, Haz." I whispered, knowing that I was not going to be okay.

"I love you too. But I'm gonna see you in a while, okay?" He asked, almost questioning himself. The doctors wouldn't let him go beyond a certain point and I watched him stand in the hallway, a broken look etched onto his face. I felt small black dots fill my vision and before I knew it, I was out.

~Harry~

"Mr. Styles?" I looked up to see Doctor Montgomery standing in front of me.

"Where is she? Is Anna okay?" I asked, standing up. His face fell and my breath hitched. "Please tell me she's okay." My voice cracked.

"We tried everything we could but her lungs collapsed." Tears filled my eyes. "I'm so sorry."

A strangled cry fell from my lips and I sat down in the uncomfortable plastic hospital chair, tugging at my hair. Tears tracked down my face and I felt a hand on my shoulder. Doctor Montgomery gave it a squeeze and I looked up at him.

"You can see her if you would like." I nodded and followed him to the room that they had taken her to.

I hesitantly walked in to see Anna lying on the flat bed, her chest not moving up and down as it was supposed to. My heart clenched and I sat down next to the bed, slowly taking her tiny cold hand in mine. The same hand that I had held in the car just hours before. Before I could stop myself, I broke down into sobs. Not cutesy crying in movies, full on gut wrenching cries.

"Please come back." I sobbed and leaned my forehead on the hospital bed. "I can't do this without you, Anna."

I felt bile come up my throat and I quickly grabbed the trashcan by the bed, throwing up into it. It felt like I could barely breathe because I was crying so hard. Suddenly, I felt two arms wrap around me and I looked up to see Gemma with tears in her eyes. She pulled me into a hug and I cried into her shoulder, sobs wracking my body.

"You're okay, H." She kept whispering and I just shook my head. I will never be okay now.

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oh my god i hate myself