invisible {h.s.}

chapter 31

~Anna~

I slowly opened my eyes and immediately closed them, feeling a large headache form. The arm that was around my waist tightened its grip and I buried my face into Harry's chest. I let out a deep sigh and Harry laughed a little, making me flinch as the pain in my head got stronger.

"I feel like utter shit." I mumbled and finally looked up at him.

"You kinda look like it, babe." He laughed and I groaned. "Hot showers always work."

"Can you start it for me?" I pouted and Harry rolled his eyes before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I sat up in the bed and took a deep breath, looking over at the clock that read 2:00 PM. I got up and stretched before making my way to the bathroom. At one glance, I felt my eyes widen.

"Did I cry last night?" I asked and Harry turned around from the shower. He scratched the back of his neck and I buried my head in my hands. "Harry, what happened?"

"You went bar hopping with Gem and Lou and then came home wasted. Gemma told me that earlier in the night, you had locked yourself in the bathroom and when I asked you, you broke down." He rushed out and I sat up on the counter.

"Why did I cry?" I asked and Harry leaned against the wall across from me.

"Because you won't have family at the wedding." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Why didn't you tell me that you were upset about that?"

"There was no reason to bring it up. I mean, nothing would change because half of my family is dead and the other half hates me." I leaned my head back on the mirror and Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "I told myself that I wouldn't tell you about that." I mumbled.

"You should have told me."

"Why? So you have another thing that makes you feel sorry for me?"

"Well of course I feel sorry for you! You've had a shitty life and shitty family." Harry put a hand over his mouth at what he said and my face fell. "No, wait, that's not what I meant."

"No, you're right, Harry. I have had a shitty life. Thanks for fucking pointing it out." I got up from the sink and walked out to the kitchen, Harry following closely behind me. "You know what, I'm not gonna argue with you. We have to be at the rehearsal dinner in two hours and my head is pounding. Just leave me alone for a while."

I brushed past Harry and went back to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I turned the shower on and pulled the large t-shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor. After getting my underwear off, I hung a towel on the rack and got into the shower, closing the curtain behind me. I felt my bottom lip wobble and a small sob fell from my mouth. I covered my mouth with my hand and sat down on the shower floor, trying not to cry. I finally pulled myself together and tried to finish fast.

5 hours later

"Alright, so Anna walks down the aisle and once at the alter, Harry, you will take her hands in yours and be completely infatuated with each other." Paul, the wedding planner said as we ran through the ceremony. Harry held my hands loosely in his and I avoided his eye. "Now, you say your vows, I will, I will, I do, I do. Bada bing, bada boom, you're married, you kiss. Time to party."

"Are we done?" Harry asked and let go of my hands.

I crossed my arms over my chest, protectively, and Gemma put a hand on my shoulder from behind me. I turned around and her eyes softened. Harry went and sat with the boys in one of the pews and I sat down on the small alter with Gemma beside me.

"What's the matter?" She asked and I shrugged.

"Just tired." I mumbled. "Can you come stay with me tonight, since Harry will be with the boys?"

"Of course." Gemma gave me a small smile and I faked one in return.

"Why don't we go through the vows?" Paul clapped his hands together and I buried my head in my hands.

"I'm not done with mine." Harry said, harshly, and made eye contact with me before walking down the aisle and out of the church, slamming the door behind him. I quickly got up and walked out, looking left and right for Harry. I saw him walking down the sidewalk so I called his name.

"Harry," I yelled after he kept walking and he finally turned around. "Where are you going?"

"Away from here, that's for sure." He walked in front of me and I saw tears forming in his eyes. "I don't know if I can do this, Anna. I mean, maybe you were right when you said we were too young to go through with it."

"What are you saying, Harry?" I asked and my voice broke. Harry shrugged and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets.

"How can I marry you if you don't trust me with something as simple as telling me how you feel? Hell, you had to be drunk to tell me that you were upset." He explained and I felt a small pang in my chest at his words. "I can't marry a girl who, half the time, I don't even know if she's happy or wants to jump off a cliff. I can't love you until you love yourself. It's so hard to love you when you think that offing yourself is the right thing to do."

"So you're just gonna leave?" I was at a loss for words.

"I just need some time to think."

Harry turned around and walked away, making his way down the sidewalk. I pulled my jacket closer to my upper body and watched his retreating figure look back at me before quickly looking away. I paced back and forth in front of the church doors, trying not to cry. I finally built up the courage to go back inside. Everyone's eyes were on me as I walked to the front of the small chapel.

"Where's Harry?" Louis asked and I shrugged.

"He needed some time to think." I said quietly and tears filled my eyes.

"When will he come back?" Niall asked and they all came to stand in front of me.

"I don't think he is." I said after a minute and Anne pinched the bridge of her nose, sitting down in one of the pews.

"We'll go look for him." Liam said and gave me a small hug before the other guys and they made their way outside.

"It's all my fault." I mumbled and sat down in the pew next to Anne and she patted my back as I put my head in my hands. "I pushed him away and he left."

"It's not your fault, Anna." Lou sighed and sat in front of me. "Maybe we should all go home and sleep and meet for breakfast tomorrow morning to see you feel."

I nodded and stood up, tugging my jacket close to my body as me and Gemma walked to her Mini Cooper. I climbed into the passenger seat and didn't even bother buckling my seatbelt. Gemma drove the route to my apartment and it was silent, except for the radio.

"He told me that he could never completely love me if I didn't love myself, Gem." I said quietly once we were in the parking lot. "I mean, he could have told me that a couple months ago and I would have been just fine. But now, the night before our wedding, I don't know what he wants from me. Harry's always said that he loves me and he always will but he just pulled another 360."

"Maybe he's just gotten cold feet and doesn't know what to say." Gemma suggested and turned the car off. "Let's go get you to bed."