invisible {h.s.}

chapter 18

@AnnaWolff : kill yourself, nobody likes you

@AnnaWolff : you look like a mentally ill blueberry

@AnnaWolff : you waste time and space, nobody loves you

I scrolled through my mentions on Twitter and tears filled my eyes. I've never read these so it hurt. A couple tears tracked down my face a I closed the twitter app, going to my contacts. I clicked on Harry's name and then, after a minute of hesitation, the call button.

~Harry~

I directed my attention to my phone that was sitting in my lap and saw Anna's picture pop up. After a quick peek at Gemma and my mum, I clicked the decline button and tried to focus in on their conversation. After a couple minutes, my phone vibrated again and mum looked over at me.

"Two minutes." I said and got up, pressing the answer button. I closed my bedroom door behind me and said hello.

"Harry?" Anna asked and I could tell she was crying. "I know you probably don't care and that you're with people, but I just feel really alone right now and I don't know what to do."

"Take a deep breath, alright." I said after a moment and I heard her let out a shaky breath. "What's wrong?"

"Everything." Anna said quietly after a minute. "I'm all alone in London and you, along with everyone on Twitter, hate me."

"I don't hate you, Anna." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Please tell me you haven't been reading hate on Twitter." Her silence gave me the answer. "Don't do that to yourself.

"I should've just locked my door a week ago." She mumbled and sniffled. "Then I wouldn't be here."

"Anna, please don't do anything stupid." I paced my room, thinking of all the things she could be doing right now. "I care about you a lot more than you think and I don't want to lose you again."

"Do you know how to stop panic attacks?" Anna asked and it was as if she could barely breathe.

"Hey, just listen to my voice, alright, and take deep breaths to get your breathing under control." Seeing as I used to get these often, I knew exactly was to do. "Me and the guys are coming up to London to start recording in a couple days. How about we come and stay with you?"

"Okay," She said and I could tell that she was beginning to calm down. "I'm sorry I bothered you."

"Call me anytime. I'll see you in a couple days. Just hang in there and you'll get a giant Horan hug to cheer you up." She let out a small laugh and I smiled to myself.

"See you in a couple days."

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding once we were off the phone. I shoved my phone in my back pocket before going back out to the kitchen. Mum, Robin and Gemma looked at me with concerned gazes and I shook my head.

"Everything alright?" Gemma asked and I ran a hand down my face.

"Just some stuff going on in London." I mumbled and closed my eyes momentarily.

"Speaking of London, how's Anna doing? I haven't heard anything about her in a while." Mum asked with a small smile before taking a drink of her tea.

"Not too good, I think." Mum raised an eyebrow. "She's just having a bit of trouble with herself. When we all go up to London we're gonna stay with her, though."

"Well, maybe you lot can lift her spirits." Robin smiled and I looked down at my hands.

"Doubt it." I mumbled to myself.

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~Anna~

"Somebody looks like they need a Horan hug." I was greeted by the smiling Irish boy as soon as I opened the door.

I pulled the wooden door wider and Niall pulled me into a huge bear hug. I smiled a little against his shirt and he pulled back, to let the other boys in. They all gave me a hug, Harry awkwardly pulling me in, Louis just brushing past me.

"Um, you can put your bags in the living room." I said quietly and tugged at my loose ponytail.

"Thanks for letting us stay here, hotels get kind of tiring after a while." Liam said as we all sat down in the living room.

"Yeah, no problem." I faked a small smile and tucked my legs up under my butt.

"So what has Anna Wolff been up to?" Niall asked and I shrugged. It felt like the beginning of tour when they all hated me and we all sat in awkward silence.

"Y'know, the usual. Just hanging out." I trailed off and they all watched me with concerned eyes.

"Do you have any food here?" Louis spoke up and Zayn jabbed him in the ribs.

"Not really, I haven't had a chance to go to the grocery. I can run out and get something though." I stumbled over my words and began to stand up but Zayn stopped me.

"We can go." He gave me a comforting smile and I nodded, sitting back down. "Harry, why don't you stay with Anna and we'll go get some Nandos."

"He doesn't have to stay with me." I interrupted and Harry shook his head.

"It's fine. I've been wanting to talk to you, anyways."

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, once the other four had left. I poured hot water into two mugs and put in tea bags.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing. You seemed kind of unstable on the phone a couple days ago." He replied and sat down at the counter.

"Yeah, that was definitely not a high point in my life." I said quietly. "But if we're being honest here, I am not doing really great."

"Tracy told me about the list you made at the hospital." Harry said quietly and I stopped what I was doing.

"You weren't the only reason. There was a lot going on and I just-"

"You don't need to explain, Anna." He said and walked around to lean against the counter in front of me. "I just want to know if you're okay or not."

"I haven't been okay in a long time." I offered a small smile and Harry frowned.

"Please just let me help you." Harry walked towards me and I sighed. "And don't say that you are too broken or that you can't be fixed because I know that girl who I fell in love with in middle school is still here. She's happy and she loves life because she has a best friend to count on. I want my Anna banana back."

"So do I." My voice faltered and Harry stepped forward to where he was right in front of me.

I kept my gaze on his white t-shirt and sniffled a little, feeling tears fill my eyes. Harry put his hands on either sides of my face and brushed away stray tears with his thumbs. I finally looked up into his eyes and Harry hesitated before leaning down to kiss me. I held onto his forearms and he pulled away a little to look into my eyes.

It was as if the whole mood changed in an instant. Harry kissed me again, this time with more force and I quickly reciprocated. He tugged me closer by my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Harry gripped the back of my thighs and lifted me up, before we made our way to my bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind us and walked over to my bed. Harry dropped me down before crawling on top of me.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened." He mumbled as I threw his shirt to the floor.

"Stop talking." I said against his lips and he tugged my thin sweater over my head.