What We Deserve

Part 8: Searching

He remains silent as he stands at the edge of the building and I find myself slowly immobilizing towards him.

Just in case.

I don't need him to jump.

I don't want him to jump.

I need him to know that however hard his life is or will be—that I will be there for him- even if...even though- he doesn't want me to be.

Even though I make things worse.

Once I'm as close as possible, I wrap my arms around his waist and press my face in between his shoulder blades.

His body tenses for several minutes- obviously unaware of what to do.

We don't say anything at all.

He doesn't touch my arms that are around his navel.

And he doesn't say anything to me that eludes to how he's feeling.

We just stand there for what feels like forever. The dark world around us only leaving the sound of traffic and helicopters, and the moving river- in our ears.

I must admit, my eyes close for a brief moment and I nearly fall asleep.

Remembering the night of our spooning and how he felt like home to me. How safe I felt.

Did he feel it too?

The safety?

The...the comfort?

After a few more minutes of this, he stirs and it sadly awakens me from my slight slumber. He manually removes my arms from around him and turns- looking down at me- his face so hard to read.

"Good talk...Sharpe." He quietly and groggily says before putting his hand on the top of my head like I'm a child and he leaves to go back inside. I don't move for the longest time and just stare at the cement building top on front of me- questioning if it meant anything to him. "You coming?"

He asks from the opened doorway.

Once more in silence, I turn and follow him into the hall and then into the elevator. He presses five and we slowly descend towards my office. He remains quiet and just stares forward, as do I, and I feel as though my heart wants to explode.

The atmosphere of the elevator is heavy with tension- but we ignore it. As the doors open up to my floor, I exit and turn back to find Max leaning on the doorframe.

"Have fun...Mum." He says and before I can say anything- he allows the doors to close and he leaves me on my floor.

Mum.

I guess for a while...I will be.

A small smile comes to my face and I make my way down the hall and enter my office where Candalario is listening to her headphones and Tse is fast asleep on my couch- my red jacket draped over him.

"So!" She scares me with her sudden speech.

"Jees..." I seethe. "I got him until we can find his siblings and from there take down whatever monsters are doing this."

"The government." She snorts and stands up.

"That—is not what we are discussing." I state and she crosses her arms over her chest and stands next to me. "Has he just been asleep?"

"He was up for a bit. Crying and he kept repeating a certain word...um.... Maame?"

"Mom."

"Yeah...what's that mean?"

"No, it literally means Mom." I state and smile down at the boy.

"Oh...ohawww." She coos and rubs a hand on my upper arm before grabbing her things to leave. "Well, good night, Mom. If you need me tomorrow- let me know."