Searching for the Answer

Jessica

In 2014 when all was going well in my progression in school at Mays business school at Texas A&M I went with the same routine as my childhood and previous years in that once a school year ended for the summer I left Texas to spend that time with my grandparents. I didn't have a home anywhere else, so that was my only option given I didn't know any people that could have supported me. Anyways as the summer was starting I looked for a place to live and through using an aggie roommate tool online I was able to communicate with three other people looking for a roommate to share the bills. This was a terrible idea to choose to live with three complete strangers. Two of my roommates were female and there was one other guy that kept to himself. Onto Jessica. Jessica was a very cute and attractive girl that took the downstairs bedroom. One of my biggest regrets to this day was that I never got to know her or treat her better as a roommate. I was still young and using drugs recreationally every day and after the two or three shroom trips and two acid trips I was really unfunctional in terms of social interaction. I went into a perceptual disorder that never ended and that caused me to only think about myself. Another recall to a past event was as soon as I told Patrick I had a female roommate he wanted me to invite her to hang out with him and me so he could see what she looked like and try to fuck her. I fucking hate Patrick Veeck. I never intyroduced them and given Patrick was a piece of Shit Blinn student he would never have met another female from A&M had I not been enrolled in the business school and lived on capus. I worked my ass off in high school to get in and Patrick chased Ariana and her best friend Krystan all year so no shit you didn't get in and ended up crying in the bathroom after getting your rejection letter. Fuck you.

That was my schpeel. Thing is at age 30 after all I've been through I would have loved to have gotten to know Jessica. My other two roommates just stayed in their rooms and I was too messed up to socialize so after not finding any comfort or connection, Jessica left after the first semester to go back home, I can't remember where she lived, but she was contractually obligated to pay the rent for the rest of the year, but she refused to pay utilities, so when she left things got troublesome. I think Jessica thought she would meet us and we all be best friends forever, but really it was just uncomfortable. Again I regret so much I never spent time with her or spoke with her. One day she was just laying on the couch in the living room watching football. I would do anything to go back to that time and be a better friend to her. I'm sorry Jessica.