𝗽𝗼𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻. jeonghan

chp. 44

GUILTY

The silence of the empty unit chimed into the male's ears.

Jeonghan has been staying at a hotel in Seoul, unable to return back to the base and he was afraid of pressuring Hwayoung if he went back to the apartment.

It has been a few days since he was kicked out of the gang temporarily until their leader makes a final decision. The gang was his life, but, weirdly enough, he felt as if it didn't impact him as much as he expected. 

A heavy burden was weighting over his heart, he missed the Song. Now, his life was determined whether he chooses between Hwayoung or his gang. He couldn't leave his gang just like that, they're the reason he's still here. But, he also can't leave his first true love, believing he still had a chance.

The male poured some boiled water into the cup ramen, closing it up with chopsticks afterwards. He hasn't been eating well lately. 

Knowing that he wasn't eating well but he couldn't do anything about it. His stomach declined everything. Every day since the incident, he ordered delivery meals for his 'roommate', as if it was ordered by her friends. 

The black-haired male took a seat at the kitchen island, the hotel room was much more smaller than their apartment unit, forcing him to adapt in a short amount of time. 

It also felt weird since Jeonghan hadn't picked up a gun or a weapon in general in a while. Something that he would do or practice every week. 

A message came from his phone, he glanced over to it but reading the contact number, he quickly turned the mobile off.

It was a message from Yerin. The Lim had been texting him almost everyday since they broke up, desperate to get him back. Jeonghan no longer wanted to think about the playboy facade, sub-consciously relating it to the gang. 

He waited until his instant ramen was complete, watching the gas release after he peeled open the top. He slurped the ramen, barely enjoying the only meal he had for the whole day. Taking a sip of water from the side, he didn't know what to do. 

The silence of the hotel room also disturbed him, he missed the cheerful voices of his members and even his roommate. 

I wonder what she's doing. 

He continued to eat his instant meal as he stared blankly at the table, refocusing his eyes on each strand of wood. 

▬

"How are you feeling today?" The Lee inquired, taking a seat on her bed with a damp towel.

"Better. I guess." She answered, allowing the male to tap the towel over her forehead. She had been sick since she blew up on Jeonghan, from not eating enough to not even doing anything. 

She had her exam on Friday, hardly making through it - it was one of her worst participations ever. All that studying had gone to waste just because of her feelings that day. Stressing about the results of the exam sickened here, there was too much to annoy her. 

"Thanks." The Song mumbled as Chan smiled at her, putting a glass of water onto the bed side table.

"No problem. Tell me if you need anything, I'll be cooking dinner." He insisted, patting the blanket lightly as he made his way to the exit of her bedroom.

"Don't even bother. I'm not hungry yet." Hwayoung frowned, sinking her head into the warmth of her bed. 

"Well, the food is here." He yelled from the front door, walking back into the Song's room with a plastic bag of delivery food.

"Why do you keep ordering food? Like I appreciate it, but you know it's a waste of money since I don't eat it." She questioned, referring to the delivery foods that arrive everyday at the apartment since the incident.

"It's not me who orders them." Chan furrowed his eyebrows, eyeing the plastic bag in his hand. "I thought you did."

The Song jolted her head up in confusion, "Maybe one of my friends did. I told them about it."

"Probably. See look they agree, that you should eat." The Lee joked, heading back to the kitchen to place the ordered food onto the counter.

"I should tell them to stop. I feel bad." 

"Songhwa, I know, you're sick. But, you also need to stop thinking about him." He advised, concern expressed through the reflection of his eyes.

"Who?" Chan sent her a 'you-know-who-I-mean' look, making her chuckle lightly. "I know. I can't help it."

"You need to move on, don't hope too much." 

"Stop being so negative. He'll come back, right?" Hwayoung paused her speech for a few seconds. "Nevermind." She deadpanned. 

Hwayoung stayed in bed as Chan organised ingredients and other foods in the fridge, she was extremely thankful for her friend that supported her no matter what emotions she felt. Whether they were unreasonable or not, he still soothed her. 

She stayed silent, staring into the ceiling. I've never felt anything like this. Why am I so guilty for falling in love? Why did it have to be him?

Chan bestest of best friends ever