My night {EruRi} {ice skating au}

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Heavenly – Cigarettes after sex

The drive was tiring, Erwin felt like it'd be a decade before he made it there. It was already dark as he was pulling up at the side of the hotel where everything had happened. There was a car park round back, but it was only accessible to people staying in the hotel "Shit." Erwin mouthed. He drove around for a while, hoping to find a space. Eventually he found a road to hide his car in.

He checked his watch. 2:31 am. "Well that's just bullshit." Erwin sighed. He really couldn't be asked to mooch for roughly 8 hours. He sighed, took a couple deep breaths, and opened the door. He climbed out only to shortly return to the car, but in the back seat. Erwin wanted to kill time through one of the things he was good at. Sleep.

It wasn't the most luxurious comfortable place to crash. But it was something. And the car had heating. So, win. Erwin wasn't one to sleep whenever wherever. But at this point, he just had to make do and make mend. With a couple blankets stashed in the boot. Score. He wrapped himself up and pulled out his headphones, he preferred the bulky ones over the silly little things that go in your ears. Even if they tend to be a pain if you like sleeping on your side.

After a moment or two of shuffling, he placed the headphones on his head, went onto Spotify on his phone and just pressed play on 'Cigarettes after sex'. The perfect music for sleep. Erwin's music taste definitely had variety. He liked it that way.

He laid there. In the back of his car. Playing gentle music, wondering how he got here. What this man called Levi has got him doing. He questioned it, but couldn't tell if he'd want it any other way or not.

Erwin decided he'd figure that out later. He just wished he could share this moment with Levi.

It'd be nice.

Maybe, if everything works out, they could. Erwin liked that idea. Sitting under the stars listening to cigarettes after sex is another form of intimacy that only few people will get the chance to experience. Sharing something like music, that has such power over the human mind. It fascinates Erwin. He started to wonder if picking French over Psychology was a good choice. Sure languages are important, but maybe. Just maybe, it would've been cool to have done psychology.

The drive plus these deep thoughts were wearing Erwin out. He decided to just focus on the music and drift of. A good choice.

~

Apocalypse – Cigarettes After Sex

Levi couldn't sleep. He wasn't in the mood, he couldn't concentrate. Plus, that nap in the car messed up his sleep schedule. Hah, as if sleeping for three days straight hadn't already done that.

He wondered what Erwin was doing.

Probably something like sleeping. Levi wondered if he was even here yet. Probably. He didn't know. He didn't know a lot at the moment. It's annoying, not knowing things. Especially now. Levi just felt so out of it, everything just seemed so much more frustrating. He didn't even know why he decided to go back down to the beach.

This is the place he least wants to be right now. What the hell was he thinking? God. He only felt stupid thinking about his not existent reasons for freaking out. And now he had a headache. Stupid car crash. Levi slipped out of bed. Attempting not to wake the sleeping beauties in the bed next to him. The bathroom light was blinding. He had to stand there for a moment before his eyes adjusted.

It was surprisingly clean, especially at Levi's standards. He was quite impressed. Levi shuffled over to the sink, turning it on he sighed, it was still dark outside. He paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath before splashing his face with cold water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. The coma had somewhat reduced the gloominess of his eyebags. It's a shame that the dark shade below his eyes would soon return.

Levi stared deeply into the mirror, thinking. Not about anything in particular, just thinking. His leg hurt, but he wouldn't complain. He got himself into this situation after all. He felt he didn't have the right to be sorry for himself.

Eventually, Levi left the bathroom, and headed back to his bed, tiptoeing all the way. He grabbed his bag, shoving an assortment of items into it. Earphones, gloves, water, wallet, phone, keys etc. he felt like going to the beach. To collect some stones. Not a bad idea, not revolutionary either. Just calm.

Gently shutting the door, Levi ambled down the corridor, fumbling to find his earphones and phone. Seconds later, he found them and yanked them out of his bag, frustrated with how long it took him to find them. With a deep sigh, Levi put them in his ears and put the case away, before shortly opening Spotify looking for something to play. He wasn't sure exactly what type of music he wanted to listen to but it certainly was not going to be sad or romantic. However, most songs are, so he was going to get a few no matter how much he tried not to. And so pressing on his liked songs...

Apocalypse – Cigarettes after sex.

What a surprise. He sighed, and admitted defeat clicked onto their profile, putting the music on shuffle. Maybe it wasn't too bad. Plus, the style of music felt fitting considering the time of day.

Maybe he'll strike lucky with a not so sappy song next. Moments later, the doors of the lobby swung open, as Levi made his way out, attempting to match his pace with the beats of the music. Annoyingly slow. Levi is a speed walker. Even so, he marched on, doubling his pace so that every two steps would land on a beat rather than each step. Success.

The walk wasn't too far, as the beach was practically in front of the inn. As Levi trudged down the steps towards the beach he felt a calming breeze brush past him. It reminded him of the ice rink. How it was always refreshing in there. But not too cold where it's uncomfortable, just right. Levi missed the rink. He wanted to skate. He wanted to skate internationally but his wounds wouldn't let him. He wasn't allowed. Not this year. If by some miracle he recovered in time, he still wouldn't be allowed to participate due to the worry.

Levi was told that his estimated recovery time was a year. The Winter Olympics are in half a year. It's coming to the end of summer. August. The games start in February. The man slumped down on the last step as he felt a sharp pain in his chest. This year was going to be his year. Now he's lost so much within the space of a few days.

He felt horrid. He needed to calm himself and find a way out of this mess. Levi never usually let emotion get to him. But at this point, maybe it's a bad thing. Maybe its because he can't cope well. Maybe crying and letting things out is worse than bottling it up and running away from the issue.

These thoughts hurt.

Isabel.
Farlan.
Mother.
Erwin.

Tears.

They hurt. They burned. Levi couldn't breathe. He was hysterical. It hurt. It hurt so much. Love, hate, loss. Having no control over what happens in life is one of the things that makes it so difficult. We can't control who leaves us. We can't control who enters our lives.

The loss of so many people was finally catching up. Tears streamed down Levi's face, he was turning red, his eyes raw, his nose blocked yet running at the same time. He was aggressively wiping at his face, attempting to get rid of the tears, to no avail. They were falling way too fast.

Struggle. He was struggling. Way more than he would usually let himself struggle. It was terrible. Levi could only imagine what he looked like right now.

Eventually. It died down. The hurt. The guilt. It felt less heavy than before. It hurt, but Levi felt so much better for some reason. He never understood how pain could bring peace in this way. He clenched his fists, squinting at the pebbles that lay quietly on the beach. Standing, Levi took a deep breath, he looked up at the sky, noticing how much of a clear night it really was. No one ever looks up.

Everyone always looks down. Never bothering to acknowledge the beauty that lies above. Especially on a clear night. The light from the moon reflected in Levi's eyes. You'd think he was wearing contacts. It was so clear.

The night looked just like the ocean. A school of stars danced across the sky, swimming and weaving throughout each other, making constellations of all sorts. Levi had never seen the night like this before. There had always been too much light pollution. But he was so far down and so far out on the beach now that there was no light near him at all. How beautiful.

He wished it would always be like this. Levi considered maybe moving out towards the countryside. That way, he could witness this beauty every night.

Time passed, and soon the sun was beginning to make an appearance as the sky became lighter, rather than a pitch black, it was becoming a navy blue, which would cast a blue hue across the land all around. The blue soon turned to purple, and the purple to flaming orange. The sun peaked its head over the horizon. She was smiling. Her bright teeth sent rays of light throughout the world, bringing with them a fresh morning breeze, and beautiful birdsong.

Levi sat and took it all in. feeling somewhat at peace in this morning moment. After a short while, when the sun had risen some more, and the orange light wasn't as harsh as before, he stood. Walked back up the steps to the main road, strode along the path, and made his way hastily back towards the inn. Rushing past the receptionists, but not so quick as to escape saying good morning to them.

Standing outside of the room, Levi heard voices, Hange and Moblit were up. Well, they were early birds much like Levi himself, but even this was early for them. He unlocked the door, and heads snapped over in his direction. "Speak of the devil." Hange stated, with a small smile on their face. Levi strolled in and dumped his stuff back on his bed and laid back so that his head hit the pillows.

"Was starting to think you'd run away" Hange giggled, turning to face him. "Don't give me any ideas Han." Levi huffed, letting out a little laugh-like breath. "I might have to shackle you to the bed now." They responded, placing their hands on their bed, as if ready to pounce atop of Levi.

Levi gave Hange a blank stare, then cocked his brow, as if challenging them. Hange smiled deviously, the kind of devious smile that you'd see on shitpost accounts. Levi wondered how their face could even move that way. It was slightly concerning.

"Maybe next time, goggles." Levi sighed, sitting then standing up, pushing Hange's head sideways, forcing them to plummet onto their bed. They gave a huff of defeat as Moblit sat laughing to himself. "I'm going to get coffee, want to come with?" Levi held the door open and was just peaking back into the room. "Not the best idea for Hange," Moblit tried to protest, but not with much force, as he knew, despite being the most responsible in the group, nothing could stop Hange. Especially with the promise of coffee.

"Bet." Hange retorted, giving Moblit a look that said: race me. To which the man responded with a pair of raised eyebrows. Hange shrugged their shoulders and jumped up, skipping over to Levi. "How you manage to have so much energy all the time is besides me Hange." Levi sighed, "Coming?" He called to Moblit, who looked quite comfy with a cup of tea and a blanket around him, still sat on the bed.

"I think I'll manage, thank you though." He smiled his sweet smile. Levi nodded, and with that they were off. Another morning, another coffee, and another day of unforgettable events.

~~

Word count: 2100

Without me - Eminem 🫡