[oceans] | a txt imagines book

[soobin] • aspirations & choices

"You'll never get anywhere, Soobin. You should have just gone back to your studies. Being an idol is not your forte."

In the earlier days of HYBE trainees, or back then better known as BigHit, there wasn't so much company income so choosing who gets to debut is overseen through a strict standard. You were a part of those trainees. You were extremely good and were en route to debut as a soloist.

One day, you were walking back to the compound after buying water outside and you happen to have heard a conversation between a fellow trainee and his friend. You saw that it was Soobin talking to someone you can only assume to be his friend. Though the words he spoke weren't so welcoming and friendly, the words he spoke were not something you can't justify.

"You'll never get anywhere, Soobin. You should have just gone back to your studies. Being an idol is not your forte."

Whatever his friend's intention was, you believed that his words were a bit too harsh, and you saw from the way Soobin's face folded that it hurt to hear such a comment.

On that very day, after that accidental encounter, you and Soobin were called by the company head. And to summarize everything, all that he said was that only one of you can debut. That wasn't the original plan, but the company was lacking funds to be able to debut the two of you at the same time.

Of course, that made the two of you very competitive. The two of you always had similar stats and gradings. Sometimes Soobin would rank one place above you, and sometimes it's the other way around. The point is, the two of you fought hard in order to be the one to debut.

However, while being competitive with each other, you saw different sides to Soobin. He truly was quiet and he kept all his burdens to himself. He enjoyed simple things. He smiled a lot just when seeing a cat walking randomly down the street. He was very helpful to fellow staff members and trainees. He was competitive with you but he never once treated you badly despite the tight match between you two.

All of those things made you think deeply for a moment. You remembered that you once had a dream. You wanted to finish school and experience that student life. You wanted to meet new people and perhaps continue into the vicinities of law or psychology. You never really thought about it long and hard, but your first choice was not to be an idol. You wanted to have a normal life where you can just be yourself and not waste away your life with uncertainties. That was just who you are, no matter how likable or unlikable that may seem.

Those thoughts began so little, but one event changed the way you saw many things at your current disposition.

After a joint practice with Soobin, he looked rather worked up. He walked out of the practice room.

"I'll just get something outside." He spoke a little sullen.

"Sure, I'll wait for you." You said to him. But you observed his eyes. He was tired and he didn't look well.

You decided to follow him, and perhaps that gave you clarity on where you wanted to be in life.

You were on your way to him but immediately stopped in your tracks as soon as you heard his sobbing. You had never seen nor heard anyone cry like that other than yourself. He was beating himself up over something you weren't quite sure of. Though, you had a feeling it was something related to the debut.