Remedy (H.S.)

25

Harry Styles

Have you ever seen an angel?

Me neither but I'm sure they look exactly like this tiny young lady.

So pure and innocent...

What kind of a beast could hurt someone like her?

I of all people could never hurt her and I was the definition of being a beast. At least that's what people I worked with said.

There was something different about that girl that made me hate her but at the same time want to protect her. Maybe it was her excessive innocence. Maybe it was the calming effect she had on literally everyone.

That's probably it.

The last seven years I've been looking for a remedy to fix... this. A medicine to stop the pain and heal me. Unfortunately nothing worked. Not alcohol, drugs, sex or anything else. Everything was temporary and didn't really help. But her... She truly made people feel good. I don't think she did it because it was her 'duty' as a psychologist or that she even realized she was doing it. It was just her.

At first I thought that this was just that I felt but when I talked with everyone else I realized that everyone felt the same way. Charlie, Lincoln, Kendra... Fucking everyone!

I hated her for that and many other reasons.

I hated her because she felt like the remedy I never had, I hated her because everyone else liked her, I hated her because she had everything I didn't, I hated her because she kept rejecting me and I was about to go crazy, I hated her because she was too nice to me... I hated her because it was her.

This was a paranoia and I knew it.

I wanted her out of my way and that's the true reason that I moved out but she kept changing my plans. I kept wanting to be around her and I could only blame it on the physical attraction I felt towards her.

But now here I was helping her. I kept telling myself that I was doing it just because I felt bad. It was just a human instinct. I may was an awful person but I was still a human and I couldn't leave a girl who had done nothing wrong helpless.

I'd be good just tonight and then I would do anything possible to stay away from her. She was a distraction and not in the positive way. That was the last thing I needed.

When we arrived I debated on whether I should wake her up or not. On the one hand, I didn't want to be her 'servant' and do everything for her including caring her, but on the other hand even now that she was passed out she looked like she was holding back tears. I know that when you are asleep you don't feel the pain, at least not that much, and she deserved to relax even a little. She could face reality in the morning.

I eventually decided against waking her up. I lifted her carefully bridal style, being cautious not to touch any place where I had noticed that she felt pain. The moment she was in my arms she layed her head on my shoulder. I took a moment to look at her. She looked so pure and innocent that I felt bad for polluting her by just being around.

When I walked inside my penthouse I stop for a moment to take in my surroundings.

It was a modern apartment that looked way more expensive than Charlie's and Lincoln's. I truthfully preferred this one even though it was so... monotonous.

It was like a black and white retro Instagram filter.

It felt cold. Even the hospital where Kennedy was working felt more warm and homey and it was a fucking hospital!