Wesper Oneshots

☆ Drip ☆

Before we start this chapter, I would like to mention that this chapter has some scenes of self-harm and some symptoms of depression. If you aren't comfortable with this, I suggest you go to the next chapter. Thank you and have an amazing day/night/afternoon!! If you are dealing with this, there is always someone you can talk to, remember, you aren't alone. 

Wylan started at the ceiling, or what he guessed was the ceiling. The room was covered in darkness, but Wylan could feel Jesper's warmth radiating near him, but it wasn't enough, the ginger-haired man still shivered in his bed. His eyes drooped, not in tiredness, but in sadness. He didn't know why but he felt down. He pulled one of the teddy bears he always kept in the bed, closer to his body, hoping to comfort himself, though it didn't work. The night was the only time he could really be with Jesper since he had many jobs Kaz had ordered him to do. Wylan finally let him eyes droop, hoping it would send him into a reality of dreams. 

It didn't. 

Wylan rubbed his eyes, to find the spot next to him, empty. He sighed, pulling the bedsheet over his body once again. To him, there wasn't any reason to get out of bed. He wasn't going to do anything anyway. After a few moments, his eyes dropped again, letting him fall into a world of peace and darkness, unlike the one he lived in. 

Nina shook Wylan awake, hoping to give him some food. Wylan slowly ate the waffles Nina had given him, not tasting it very much. His eyes stayed drooped as he continued to eat. He handed the plate back to Nina, sliding under the covers once more. 

"Wylan, you need to get up. I placed some clothes on your desk for you. Please it on, we need you," Nina pleaded, closing the door behind her. 

Wylan sighed, pulling himself out of bed. He slipped his clothes on without any sign of happiness across his face. He pulled his suspenders on, clipping them onto his trousers. He looked in the mirror to be faced his a small, skinny face. His cheekbones had been showing even more than usual and his hair was rather messy. Wylan sighed again, looking down at the floor. He picked up his alchemy bad, making his way out of the Slat, the sounds of happiness from Nina and Matthias disappearing behind him. Before Wylan could fully exit the Slat, he heard a throat being cleared behind him. He looked solemnly behind him, not even bothering to look up. 

Kaz sighed, "Wylan, what is going on? I barely see you anywhere anymore, I can't give you any jobs and you are always sleeping. What is it? Do you not want to be here anymore? You can leave if you want."

Wylan just shook his head, not wanting to explain himself. 

"Wylan, this is what I am talking about. You can't keep acting like this. You are being useless," Kaz grumbled, leaving Wylan stuck in the doorway of the Slat, the word still ringing in his ears. Useless. Wylan Van Eck was useless. Wylan nodded, feeling a tear silently slip down his cheek as he turned around, trying to find his way to the warehouse through the blurred vision. 

After a few minutes, Wylan found it after a few stumbling steps, he entered. He closed the door, as if it would hide the sob that ripped through his throat a few seconds after. Tears fell down his cheeks, drenching them with the despair he was feeling. 

Wylan whispered, "He was right. I am useless. Worthless. No good. Dumb. Stupid. Bastard. Fuck up," he clawed at his head, as if it would rid himself of the thoughts. He banged his head against the wood wall he had been leaning on. Through the blurred eyes, Wylan clawed through his bag, searching for the one thing he needed right now. He held one of Inej's knives in front of him, the reflection gleaming in the sunlight. 

Wylan swallowed loudly, "You have to do it, Wylan. This is what you deserve."

Another tear slipped out of his eye as he closed them, bringing the knife to his wrist. He sniffed before digging it into his skin, breathing in sharply. Wylan slowly opened his eyes after he had laid down the knife next to him. His head was empty for the first time in a month.

The only word that was going through his mind was: Finally. 

The blood dripped from his wrist, staining the crooked wood he called a floor. His head was light headed and he couldn't think straight, which in his opinion, was good. His eyes drooped for the hundredth time today, but this time he had a smile on his face. The blood that gleamed was a sign of hope for the hopeless, which was Wylan at the moment. He sighed in relief as his mind became more fuzzy along with his vision. A noise grounded him, which sounded like a boom. The next thing he saw was Jesper's frantic face and his hands around Wylan's face. 

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Wylan asked weakly, trying to hide his wrists, which seemed impossible for how heavy they were to him. 

"Wy, I was always here for you. There's always another way than this, I promise," Jesper teared up, holding Wylan's blood stained hands. 

"But do you really love me? You're never around and I don't know what to do anymore. Everything cam back, Jes. Everything with my father, it all came back. I didn't know what to do, except for the only thing I ever knew what to do," Wylan sobbed. 

"I've always loved you, so so much. I was," Jesper sighed, pausing for a moment, "I was getting jobs because I was saving up for a wedding ring, Wy. I was going to propose."

"Oh."

"Next time, Wy, you come talk to me. Communication is key, that's what Nina always says. You need to talk to me so we can resolve the situation. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. I don't care how long it takes," Jesper smiled, "As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face. Save your tears, it'll be okay. If you're here with me," Jesper sang his and Wylan's song, the one they loved so dearest, "Do you promise, Wy?"

"I promise, and I'm sorry, Jes. I just don't know what else to do," Wylan cried. 

"It's okay, babe. It'll be okay, just stay with me, I need to at least get you to Nina," Jesper reassured, picking Wylan up bridal style, letting his hands drop, splattering blood on the wood floor. 

"I'm so sorry, Jesper," Wylan weeped. 

"It's okay, love. It's okay," Jesper comforted him, but in reality, he was terrified. He couldn't let fear cloud his judgement, he needed to do anything he could to help Wylan. Even if that meant getting someone else to help him, so be it. He was at least going to try or die trying. 

He had to. For the love of his life, he had to. 

"I'm sorry too," Kaz voice's appeared out of no where, and was also the last thing Wylan heard before he was swept off into a brief sleep. It was quite odd, because Kaz Brekker never says sorry, ever.