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This is Noah and Mr. Knight's book. ;)

You can read it as a stand alone if you'd like to. It takes place in present time of my other book
I love you, Master Sawyer.
Their book can now be read on inkitt only due to Wattpad deleting it on me.
@ Boundlessreverie

This is a DDLB book so it may not be for everyone.

With that being said, if this isn't something that interests you, please find another book to read and don't report it. I can assure you there is nothing illegal/inappropriate written and nothing sexual happens while Noah is in little space.

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It's been two years since I've met Alek Knight at submissive training and two years since he's disappeared from my life without a word.

It's embarassing to admit but every time I close my eyes I can feel his hands against my skin, or the way he looked at me like I was the only boy for him. Even the yummy way he smelt the few times we were together.

Alek promised he wouldn't leave me, but he did. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Yes, two years later and i'm still in love with a guy I hardly know.

It's not that Alek owed me anything though. We only went on a couple of dates, I just didn't think he was the type of person to have sex with a guy then leave right after. It really felt like the connection we had meant something to him, but that clearly wasn't the case. Maybe he just wanted to have sex and that's it. It would have been nice if he said he didn't want to be with me but he said nothing. Not a single word to me.

I thought he was different but boy, was I wrong. You'd think after two years and being in a different relationship for half of that time would make those feelings go away, but they don't and they didn't. I honestly don't think they ever will. Alek was most definitely the one that got away.

It doesn't help when it feels like your current boyfriend doesn't care about you like he used to either. I do my best not to think about it and instead I try to be greatful for what I have and everything he's given me.

One year after Alek's disappearance I met Adam at Indulge. A BDSM club owned by Fox and Julian who are both good friends of mine now.

Adam was a very sweet and caring guy when I first met him, but after he had me move in with him for our six month anniversary, he changed. He did hurt me once but he told me it was an accident. Three months later and I haven't decided what I believe. I've never had a black eye before and I didn't like it. It was the day before Chris and Anthony's wedding too. I tried my best to cover the bruise, but it didn't work very well so I opted out on taking any photos that day.

Since then, he hasn't really laid a hand on me. He has been very controlling these past few months though. Always making me cook and clean, and if I don't do something right he always gets mad and yells at me. He's not really abusive physically, but mentally he knows just the right words to say and I fall for them every time. It's not like I mean to make him upset. Before moving here I barely knew how to cook, so I don't know how he thinks he's going to get some gormet meal out of me.

It sucks because I have nothing else going for me right now and honestly, I just don't want to be alone. It scares me. I think that's why I agreed to moving in with Adam so fast. It's not fun being alone and sometimes I have troubles making decisions with things. Although Adam doesn't really help me with deciding things anymore so it's been a struggle for me.

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