Complacent Dreamers

College here we come

(Graduation 1994)

I stared at a sea of blue white and black. I couldn't hold it together as I stared at the seniors of 1994. So many faces that I didn't get the chance to talk to, and today was our getaway. Our escape pass into adult hood. Today we become something rather than just the seniors, we become our own.

I held Jeanette's hand in my right and Aria's in my left. I couldn't believe we'd finally made it, we were at the final chapter of our childhood and the first chapter in our adult lives.

The Graduand Procession entered the Hall 20 minutes prior to our official commencement of the ceremony, and i could already feel the sweat taking over me. Almost as if i was about to drown in my own fear. I honestly dont know what i was afraid of. The fact that i was going to be on my home for a whole four years, or the fact that i had to say an entire speech today. I couldn't shake the thought of Marshall kissing me. I don't know what I thought of Marshall. After all these years he waits until I'm in a strong relationship to kiss me and mean it. I didn't hate him for it I just wanted him to be mine already but at the same time I wanted Cory just as bad. Marshall is my drug. I am eternally enslaved to him and him alone and that would never go away no matter how many boyfriends I had.

My parents sat higher in the stands and I tried to save my tears for the speech I had to say. "I love you so much." Jeanette whispered in my ear and I squeezed her sweaty hands. "Same here." We hugged and returned to watching the ceremony.

Almost two hours in, it was finally my turn to graduate. I nearly puked just looking at all the parents. "Ali Mendez." There were scattered claps and cheers, and I started crying as soon as they said my name. "Isabella Meyers." I heard a loud root and cheers everywhere. I looked to where my parents were seated and noticed every single last one of my other friends. Marshall, Proof, Bugz, Bizarre, Royce, Kuniva, Kon Artis, Cory, Gary, etc. I bit hard on my quivering lip and smiled at the flashing cameras as they snapped. Since I was valedictorian I had to stay seated along with the salutatorian.

"Now we will have a speech prepared by Isabella Meyers, our Valedictorian and scholarship student."

"I moved to Detroit in 1988, with only a couple of clothes and a old poem book my mom bought me before she passed away. I was so scared to do anything alone so I hid behind my big brothers shadow. Many of you know him as Marshall Mathers. For the longest I was fragile and shy and friendless, but Lincoln showed me that I was more than just a fifteen year old girl with a love for literature. I was a flower growing constantly through concrete and I made it. I didn't look back. Detroit became my home and Lincoln became my family. I made friends here, met some of the greatest people ever who probably will be bigger and better things in life. And as I look at everyone I'm proud to say I knew a future doctor or that one guy who'll be more famous than Michael Jackson, or that girl who will do hair for the lady who will cure cancer and then I look at myself and I realize I'm a reflection of my family. My mom told me that one day and it still with me ever since. So believe me when I tell you, you can be anything you want in this life and don't let anyone tell you that you can't because they are just obstacles in your path and yea they make the road bumpier but just think of everything you'll be when those obstacles are all behind you, looking at you and your greatness. Thank you." I cried during the whole speech and then I saw it. I saw Jeanette get up and leave, her dad by her side holding her diploma and I almost died of tears as I made my way off the stage.
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"You did it B!" The boys met me and my parents downstairs in the lobby holding balloons and horns. Proof hugged me and then the rest of them and I cried into his shoulder knowing in a couple hours I would only see him for holidays off. "I'm gonna miss you guys so much." They all laughed and I could've just sat there and squeezed them all day. "Yo listen, I promise you Bells as soon as you come home we're going to throw you the dopest party known to mankind a'ight?" Deshaun nearly made me bawl again and he wiped my tears. "Man I love you like blood girl." I just wish I could bring them with me, that they could fit into my suitcase and come with me to New York.

"Yo call everyday okay?" Mickey is what I called him. Seems like just yesterday he told me he liked my pants and asked me so many questions you would think he was a interrogation officer. "I will. And you. Don't be makin no babies okay?" He threw his hands up and laughed. "I ain't makin no promises." I shoved him and as hugged tightly. "Ay yo man I love you so much Bella." I heard him sniffle.

I pulled away and his eyes were red. "Hey, hey look at me. You don't have to cry because of me. You go out there and you make a name for yourself okay? Whatever it takes. And one day while I'm locked away in my dorm I'll hear your name on MTV and you'll have the number one hit okay?" he smiled and wiped his face. "See Bella you got me in my feelings." We both chuckled and then that was it. That was the last time I talked to him in a long time. At least while he was sane.

The graduation party was amazing but I left early. Cory came home with me and me and my parents and Cory all watched some movie while they helped me pack my stuff. Cory would kiss me randomly which kinda agitated my dad but Katherine didn't mind. After that Cory went home and it was time for me to catch my flight. My dad cried really hard which wasn't surprising and as we said our goodbyes I realized this was real. I was really going to college.