STALKER

Chapter 108 - 10th June

There is a mature scene, so if you're delicate scroll on.

Every now and then I hear noises coming from downstairs. Weirdo is obsessing over some plants he's delivering to a client on the other side of Sydney tomorrow morning. The adage about not knowing someone until you live with them is true. I thought I had a good work ethic but Weirdo takes it to a new level, everything has to be just sooooo. Sometimes I swear I'm looking at a clone of my brother Adam, maybe they should start a club for pedantic arseholes. If you are reading this weirdo...I'm giving you the finger.

I've already showered and I'm in bed. Somewhere along the way, I decided tonight is the night. I'll tie him to the bedposts if I have to but I want us to make love, have sex, intercourse, shag whatever you want to call it. Over dinner, all I could do was stare at him and imagine things I shouldn't over food. Yes, tonight is the night.

I'm naked and freezing my butt off. I've practically gnawed off the end of my chew while I sit here waiting. I'm making a statement...FUCK ME!!! I couldn't make it any clearer unless I wrote it across my butt.

I'm writing, occasionally staring up at my Canaletto as I try to find the right words. I love everything about the painting. It looks amazing at night illuminated by the small bedside lamps. Whenever I look at it I feel I belong there far more than I do here.

Since I decided to tell Weirdo about the journal , writing today's entry has been stress-free. Normally, I'd go out of my way to hide it, but tonight I'm happily leafing through the pages reading random pages. One year and 29 days ago I wrote my first entries. Nothing in the early part of my life prepared me for the last year. So much has happened. It hasn't been a peaceful time, more like a roller coaster ride, where every lull only lead to another drama. Weirdo came into my life so I wouldn't change a thing. A year ago I couldn't imagine a person like him existed, let alone me being in love with him.  Imagining the old me in love...never.  I would have laughed the idea off as a bad joke.

The early entries where I was discovering and experimenting with my powers in hindsight are  comical. I blundered around trying to work things out, got it wrong most of the time. I think my favourite passages are the ones where I'm trying to get along with my new housemate...granddad. We certainly didn't instantly gel. I do miss the crabby puff of smoky. I sometimes feel that pull, that awful longing that was his permanent state of being, the poor bastard.  I was never able to save him even a moment of pain....I regret it.   I am so glad I have learned to control those feelings, especially the anger, otherwise, they would have sent me nuts. I hope when Weirdo reads the entries where my feelings for him weren't truly mine he will be understanding and forgiving.

The parts where I first met Weirdo are hilarious. He was so annoying.  So many times I wanted to punch his lights out.  I'm not sure how he will take those passages. I'm sure from his perspective I was the annoying one, as well as a womanising dickhead. Perhaps he won't want to read the journal, just knowing about it will be enough.  If you are reading this Weirdo and you're pissed off, I promise I'll make it up to you.

I'm suppose to be writing about today.  Some days are better than others and today was a good day.

Today was productive.  I got a couple of projects started.   First of all, I've been trying to think of things to improve Ben's quality of life, yes I know he's dead but that doesn't mean he can't enjoy his limited existence. He's a smart boy, he must get bored following Weirdo around, talking to him, and never getting a reply. The same old same old every day. I've done my research and I think I have come up with something I can handle, being a newbie witch and all. I've found two simple rituals that could improve his circumstances.  The first I plan to perform tomorrow, the other is trickier and may need more tweaking.  More about that later...I hear Weirdo coming up the steps....crunch time.