STALKER

Chapter 101 - 11th May - 12th May

The second we arrived back Weirdo fell in a heap on the floor. He looked like a giant pile of laundry, goth laundry. I was pissed off because he rushed us back. Initially, I suggested making the jump so he had a better idea of the people involved with his past-self Vittorio but I started to enjoy myself and I wanted to keep on playing. It was fun watching the scene from a different perspective. The body language, for example between  Alvise and Giacomo was interesting, the sort of easy closeness acquired over a long time. I laughed as I watched Alvise's eyes turn dark when I dared to touch is Vittorio, it was there plain as day...he was jealous. It's rare for his Patrician self-control to slip, but it did for a split second.  The teasing banter between him and me was playful and relaxed, confirming our friendship was real.

I took off my mask and looked down at a gasping Weirdo. I took mercy on him briefly and removed his hat and mask. He was a sweaty mess underneath, but as I said, I was peeved and that's as far as my sympathy went. Ben appeared from nowhere like a deranged mother hen, flapping and squealing. He was doing enough fuffing about for the both of us. He circled Weirdo getting more frantic and frustrated when he couldn't help.

"Poor Master Peter." He wailed." Help him, help him, he's dying. HIIIIIS DYYYYING!!!!" His voice was a high-pitched scream.

"For fuck sake, he's fine." I started wandering off to my room, as I said I was peeved, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.  Weirdo spoilt my fun AND we left before I could have my coffee. I'd been looking forward to it. "Just let him be...he'll be back to normal soon."

As I took off my cape and hung everything up I could hear the redheaded knob wailing as if Weirdo was at death's door. Apparently, I am a heartless bastard and a doddypoll, whatever that is.

I waved as I left the room and went to the kitchen, this is what happens when you deprive me of my coffee.  Weirdo was flat on his back oblivious. Ben was sitting fanning his face calling me a tâmpit. I have to google that.

.....

Sitting perched on a stool in my greenhouse, my apron tied extra tight and sipping coffee out of the  biggest mug I own, I complained bitterly to the rose bushes I'd grafted for my latest commission. The cuttings were from an old-style English rose. It's a rather unusual shade of pink I've been told. I'm starting to think I won't make the deadline. Although the plants have grown healthy and thick, with new shoots now turning into thin branches, that last push to bloom is taking longer than I'd hoped. I've completed the commission according to the client's brief but I want that bit extra. The thing that will make it the perfect gift.

Back to my venting. I thought I would share my frustrations. Normally, I shower my plants with love,  music or read French poetry, they really get off on that. Today, I was sharing my darker thoughts, I felt them all shiver with perverse excitement as my tirade went on and on, they were enjoying my angst. Boo was there too, swinging on his perch. His head tilted one way then the other as if he was waiting to hear all the goss.

As far as I could tell Weirdo and I were Ok. He hadn't run screaming from the house after the initial shock of finding out that once again I'd taken part in one of his past lives. I certainly didn't want him going anywhere, I know what I want and what's important, it's him. I've learned my lesson, I know better now. 

In the back of my mind, however, there's one thing I couldn't put into words, even if it was only to the roses and succulents.  I wondered whether Weirdo had come to the same conclusion, maybe not yet, but he will.  In two of the three previous lives we know about, he brought about the deaths of himself and the one he loved. Martin because of jealousy, Vittorio because he was innocent and trusting. I wondered if Kim Han-gyeol came to the same sort of end. I suppose I could find out if I tried hard enough. The upshot was, will history repeat itself?   Was fate going to continue to nudge us back onto the path predestined for us, no matter how much we tried to dodge it?

The  only positive I could see was something Nana Ovia told Weirdo "that this life was the best chance he had to get it right".  Maybe I'm the variable or should I say the invariable, that makes a difference, the constant that has been missed one lifetime after another, until now.

OMG, I'm being so deep I scaring myself. I put out my cigarette and the pack is empty. Bugger.

Looking around, apart from the plants looking even more lush than usual, they must like drama, I haven't done a shred of work.  But I do feel better, got the shit out of my system and I've come to a decision. I have to bite the bullet and go see Nana Ovia and tell her everything, and I mean everything. She may be able to help me again, not for my sake but for her little Petru.

Checking the time I see it's been over an hour since I left Weirdo lying on the floor. So much for being a grown-up, more like a spoilt brat. That needs to change. I patted my apron as I hung it up, and as I left the greenhouse I heard Boo. He'd started to trill and chatter, maybe it was a good omen.

....

There was no Weirdo on the floor, just his clothes. I went upstairs but he wasn't in the bedroom or bathroom. Back downstairs I popped my head in my room and I saw a lump under Batman. Ben was sitting at the end of the bed, no longer a mother hen, instead a twitchy doberman.

"Out." For a moment he looked like he was going to ignore me and continue to stand guard over Weirdo.

"Now." My voice came out a tad louder and more annoyed. His shoulders dropped and he left the room with a gloomy face.

Standing next to the bed all I could see was the top of Weirdo's head coming out from under the doona.  I took off my shoes and got in beside him. Why do we always end up squished in this little frigg'in bed. He was naked, sweating and I could feel him trembling. He still hadn't fully recovered. The poor sod, he's just not made for jumping. He had his back to me and I put my arms around his waist and snuggled against his back. I softly kissed his shoulder. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you on your own." I'm a crap boyfriend, no wonder none of my relationships lasted.

"Mmm...leave me alone I feel like shit." He groaned. Weirdo tried to shrug me off but I held on tight, spreading  more little kisses along his neck. I couldn't see his face at all, it was hidden under a mop of hair. Eventually, he rolled over and I moved the curls away so I could see his face. I think it was the first time since I met him I realised how truly handsome he was. His quirky big features go together perfectly to create a strong, unforgettable face. But he was pale and the freckles dark on his cheeks as a result of the jump; and his eyes, those beautiful eyes were red from crying, tiny tears still clung to his long lashes.

I smoothed my thumb over his eyes and wiped them away. I should have known better, remembered my own experience instead of being such a monumental arsehole. "I won't leave you again, I'll work out a way to make it easier for you." He wrapped his arms around me, damn he still trusts me.  Shit I wouldn't.  He settled against my chest. "I'll take better care of you, I promise."

I pulled him closer feeling guilty. I need to do better. Then I did something the old Timothy never did. Kissing the top of Weirdo's head I whispered. "I love you."

....

I woke up to the curtains above my head being pulled open and the sun streaming in.  "God Damn." I yelled and dived under the blankets doing my best vampire impersonation.  When I finally braved the harsh morning light there was my Adonis standing in front of me with a steaming coffee.  The coffee alone made him a keeper.  Weirdo handed me the mug and as I looked up into his face he smiled, it grew and grew, until his dimples were showing and his eyes lit up.

"I love you too."