STALKER

CHAPTER 87 - 22nd April

We talked for a while longer after that terrifying piece of news was out there. He pleaded with me to jump as soon as possible. It wouldn't be easy we both knew that, but it had to be done. I must get him past that moment when he was about to make the wrong choice. John didn't want to leave without knowing we were safe, that his momentary lapse was just that; and not a choice that had had a domino effect in time, with generation after another disappearing as a consequence.

As he talked I realised he had been watching the comings and goes of the family. From the way he talked had watched every visit by mum, every family dinner and games night. He had an opinion on each of my brothers and knew their quirks and mannerisms. He liked Max and said he was the most like his Claudia. Granddad always called her his Claudia and I think he did love her, even though it couldn't compare with what he had felt for Jules.

Granddad liked the way mum kept us all under control, he described her as an iron hand in a velvet glove, which was pretty accurate. His eyes filled with emotion when he talked about Dad, he was so proud of him. What a fine man he had grown up to be. His Claudia had to take all the credit for that. It was the first time I thought of Granddad as sweet or soft since I met him, anger wasn't his overriding emotion for once.

He said he was pleased he had one last chance to see them altogether sitting around the table, happy, laughing, as close as family can be.

He was fading, literally. The connection between us would break soon. I repeated my promise that I would make the jump the next day, he looked relieved. I offered him one last treat, he'd had his fill of wine and cigarettes to last an eternity. What better way to send him off...

"Would you like a piece of cheesecake." John's eyes lit up.

......

That brings me to this morning, to my worst nightmare made real. Going back to that clearing, to see the aftermath of my vision was something only the safety of my family could force me to do. Just the thought of it makes me want to heave. I had to use all my newly acquired control to push down the melange of emotions, both John's and Martin's that surged through me; every vein and fiber wanted to replay the pain, fear, and all-consuming hate that filled those moments.

I didn't bother wearing anything special this time, staying warm was my main priority. I remembered that it was bitterly cold. I removed the small photo from the wall, and safely put it in my pocket. I made sure I had the exact place, date, and approximate time he met Claudia written down. I packed a backpack with a thermos of coffee, sheets, and a few other things I thought I might need. I got the last item I needed from the garage and I was ready to go.

I searched the house for Granddad to have one last word with him before I jumped, but he wasn't to be found. He'd already told me as much as he remembered, all the things I said that had swayed him. To calm myself I spent the last few minutes before I left in front of the candle, watching the flame flicker, the green liquid swirl in the melting wax, breathed in the sweet scent, and let the calm fill me. I repeated the incantation over and over, feeding the control I needed for what was to come.

I was ready, I couldn't avoid it any longer. I closed my eyes and....

.....