STALKER

Chapter 3 - 10.35 pm Belgium 8th September, 1942

It's freezing. I'm lying uncomfortably on cold concrete. My hands are folded in front of me propping up my head so I can get a clear view of the street. At the same time hidden, only a shadow amongst lots of shadows that shift across the front of the house because of the surrounding trees. It's 10.28 according to my old analog watch. I'm not sure why I chose to wear it, it seemed the appropriate thing to do when I was getting dressed for my trip. It had belong to my grandfather.

I've been lying here on the balcony watching the road for 15 minutes. I wanted to make sure I was early...just in case there was a mistake in timing. I was sure I wasn't going to be disturbed so I could afford to hang around for a while. The house like almost every other one in the street is derelict. All the windows, doors, ironwork had been stripped from the house and all that remains is the shell of a once large family home. I'm told this was once a beautiful street, in a prosperous part of the village. Now vines have started climbing the walls, dirt and leaves have invaded all the rooms on the bottom floor and weeds are growing here and there on the staircase. Only a small portion of the roof remains intact, the rest is open to the sky. When I first arrived it filled me with such sadness. I hadn't expected to be so profoundly moved by little things like the faded squares on walls where family photos had once hung or the broken cups and saucers on the kitchen floor.

The cold is seeping through my clothes, it's becoming almost painful. I should have worn thermal underwear. More planning has to be done in future to avoid mistakes. But I have to be patient it won't be long now. There's only a few minutes left to go. It's 10.32 pm, September, 1942 the small town of Toeneren, Belgium.

I look at my watch 10.35....I hear humming. It's to dark to see anything except directly in front of the house. I can feel a knot forming in my chest. I'm feeling excited, and nervous which I didn't expect. The humming is getting louder and I can see glimpses of movement between the shadows of tree branches. I can see him, the silhouette of him anyway. My heart is beating so fast. I can't believe I see him coming towards the house. The closer he gets the clearer view I have of him. Remember every detail, it's so important that I remember everything about him. I wish I knew the tune he's humming. All I can make out is that the man is wearing a cap, a heavy jacket and gloves. I can't see his face only puffs of smoke coming from a cigarette dangling from his lips.

I lean a little further over the balcony trying to catch the tune but all I manage is to send some loose concrete falling to the ground. He heard it, damn, he's stopped walking. I tilt my head down a little so I can still watch him but my face is obscured, my silhouette is lost in all the shadows. I'm sure he can't see me. Slowly he removes a pistol from under his jacket and holds it casually by his side and continues to puff on his cigarette. He's taking off his cap, the man's thick curly blonde hair falls over his forehead. I only see his high cheek bone and jaw briefly as he turns to look in my direction. The moonlight falls on his face just long enough for me to recognise the face.

The man replaces his gun under his jacket and starts walking again, puffing on his cigarette and humming. I watch him, trying to memorise his stride, his baring, burn the image of his face into my brain to keep it there forever.

He's gone and I can't hear the humming anymore. I can breath again. It's only now I realise that I'm crying. I want to sob out loud but I have to be sensible and wait for a better time to let the experience sink in. The sense of loss is overwhelming.

It's time to go. I'm so cold I can't stand lying here any longer. Trying to move and get up is easier said than done. I feel like I'm frozen to the concrete, my balls have turned into ice blocks in my pants. My knees and elbows don't want to bend. Stiff and shivering I'm finally on my feet and moving inside the house. I check my watch and make a note of the time.

It's time to take a leap of faith for the second time today. I feel my heart pumping like crazy, worse than the first time. I'm scared, really scared. It's taking me a couple of minutes to steady myself, here we go. Use a firm voice I tell myself....and then say "HOME".

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