The Assassination of Harley Quinn

A Joke To You

A metal tray with food on it slammed on the floor shocking me out of my revenge day dream. The tray was left slightly out of reach. "Hi Harley" said the voice of the woman I was most angry with. "Jade" I growled. "Aw, no hug?" She responded as she kicked the tray closer to me. "Is this a joke to you? Am I a joke to you?" I cried out as I looked up at her green eyes. "No" she quietly muttered.

I angrily picked up the bread roll from my tray and threw it at her. Jade quickly snatched it out of the air before kneeling before me and passing the bread back through the bars. "You need to eat" she softly said. "I can't eat" I finally replied as I smacked the roll out of her hand. "You're not a joke to me" she said as her now empty hand reached for mine. I let her interlock our fingers as her thumb gently rubbed the back of my hand.

"I don't believe ya" I eventually replied, slightly mesmerised by her eyes and the feeling of her skin against mine. "I could never think of you as a joke. I care about you, so much a-and not like how friends care for each other. I-I actually like you, not how friends like each other" she stumbled through her words before slowly looking up at my icy blue eyes.

"That barely made sense" I mumbled in response. "Well, here" she said before grabbing the back of my head and slowly pulling me into a kiss between the bars. She gently bit my bottom lip, making me moan against her. Finally, I breathlessly pulled away and looked into her lustful eyes. "So... you like me" I said. "Having sex with you wasn't nothing for me. I really like you. You could never be a joke to me" she replied as she rested her forehead against mine.

"You know... I actually kinda like the hair" I said with a relieved laugh. Jade smiled as she nodded. "I'm so happy the acid didn't completely make me lose you" I finally said, pulling Jade closer for another kiss. "You will never lose me, you're stuck with me forever" she responded with a smirk as she planted kisses on my lips.

She finally pulled back, "we should get you out of here". "We should get us out of here" I corrected Jade as I watched a bright smile fill her face. "I just don't know how, there's so many guards, Harls" she replied. "I'm gonna say somethin' shocking but let's not make a scene. We can sneak through the vents, ya know" I said as I paced my cage. "There's a vent above us but I'd have to unlock your cell" Jade responded, thinking carefully.

"Does Mista J have the keys?" I asked as I stopped pacing and looked over at Jade. "I'll get them" she finally said before giving me a quick kiss and disappearing into the lair. Jade eventually rushed back in with a key in her hand. "How'd ya get that" I chirped as she began unlocking my cage. "He leaves them hanging on a statue of himself in the main room" she whispered as the lock clicked. "We gotta be quick, then" I said as I stepped out of my cell.

I gracefully climbed onto the top of my cage and unscrewed the vent door on the ceiling. Jade looked into the doorway before turning back to me and climbing up. We both carefully pulled ourselves up into the vent before crawling out of the building through the narrow spaces. We finally got to the grate facing the road. We quickly ran out from the vent and climbed into the nearest car. I carefully hot wired it and revved the engine. "Ya ready?" I squealed at Jade. She sadly looked over at the building then nodded.

We drove off towards Jade's apartment. When we arrived I rushed off to see my babies. "Bud! Lou!" I yelled as they tackled me to the floor in excitement, licking my face and laughing. Jade closed the door behind us and watched the two hyenas. They looked up at her in confusion, "really? Not even you two recognise me" she asked as she sat on the floor next to me. Reluctantly they approached Jade, once realising her affection they finally cuddled up to her.

"Maybe they can smell Mista J on you" I said as I looked over at Jade giving Lou belly rubs and Bud ear scratches. "Maybe" she quietly responded, then she stood up and walked to her room. "Are you okay?" I yelled out after her as I quickly followed. "No" she whispered as she curled up on the bed. I carefully sat next to her and placed my hand over hers. "Why?" I gently asked. "I could've hurt you" she finally said as she sat up. Her eyes darkened, full of hate and anger.

"I could've betrayed you. I almost did. I almost lost sight of the important parts of my life f-for that psychopath" she sobbed out, covering her face with her hands. I slowly pulled her towards me, keeping her head against my chest as I gently rubbed her back. "Ya didn't hurt me, you saved me" I chirped, trying my best to reassure her. "Harley, I-I just love you so much and I almost ruined e-everything" she responded as I felt the tears dampen my t-shirt. "You love me?" I whispered as Jade quickly lifted her head up.

"I-I mean I don't kn- yeah I think I do" she finally said in defeat. I carefully wiped the tears from her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you, too" I whispered as she kissed me back.