The Assassination of Harley Quinn

The Harlequin of Hate

The Harlequin of Hate, The Ace of Knaves, The Clown Prince of Crime or The Jester of Genocide? Call me whatever you want but I'm known for being the Joker. I make people laugh until they can't breathe any longer. My jokes have the same effect of a nitrous oxide overdose. You laugh until you deprive your body of oxygen. Then my favourite part, asphyxiation, or in common terms, suffocation.

Watching a human become frail and weak until they die with a smile on their face. I wish that was how it worked but unfortunately your muscles slacken upon death so I reach for my dagger and carve a permanent smile on those corpses. It must be known that every death caused by the Joker is one that is entertaining for all. Comedic to say the least.

People often regard me as crazy and dangerous. That I am simply the result of brain damage and torture due to acid. Now I will not deny that I did indeed fall into a vat of acid. However, that did not affect my sanity. It transformed me into the powerful man I am today. Powerful enough to rid Gotham of 'The Dark Knight'. A man who dresses as a bat? Ridiculous.

Batman lurks in the shadows, unwilling to show his face to the world. He is a coward. He is the crazy one. And the day I kill him will be the day that bat has a smile on his face.

I always thought Harley and I would travel the world together, killing every superhero we could find. Causing havoc to every city we inhabit. But she left me. Through a fucking text. No, no, that girl is going to pay. She was my one weakness, she still is.

I have been regarded as insane for as long as I can recall. She was my fourth, maybe fifth psychiatrist at Arkham. I had killed all my previous ones. Left them on the tile floor with broad smiles on their faces and a small pool of blood surrounding them. But, Dr Quinzel was different. The way she hid behind those thick framed glasses and attempted to withhold her real accent from surfacing.

Dr Quinzel was a fraud. She was hiding her true self due to fear. I was intrigued by the fragile blonde before me.

Once I had learned she was a failed gymnast from Brooklyn with a temper, I loved her, all of her and I set her free. I transformed her into Harley Quinn. I ensured that she no longer had to behave in a respectable manner.

Now, I am going to have to erase her from this Earth. I am the Joker, I cannot have my one weakness running around, free for anyone to kill. No, I must do it myself, kill Harley, get over Harley, no more Harley.

I can't get her out of my head and I have to, she can't be this important to me. She's just a stupid girl I loved.

That is why I paid a large sum of money to a woman named Pamela Isley. She showed me her capabilities and I knew in an instant, Harley could never defeat her.

She was seductive, powerful and ruthless. I even bought her a few house plants as a thank you gift.

Anyway, my plan was for her to tie up Harley so I could carve a smile on her face. I wanted her to feel pain.

But then I realised, no physical pain is comparable to the pain of a broken heart. Once I had realised this, I told Pamela she must seduce Harley and break her heart. Then when the time is right, I'll carve that smile into her pretty little face.

I scraped the blade of my dagger against a sharpening stone. I promised myself that in order to be the most powerful man in Gotham, I must rid myself of weaknesses.

I heard a weak knock on the door of my lair. I have had enough of people interrupting my precious thinking. I must be able to ponder in peace. I picked up my dagger and threw it through the wooden door, hearing a satisfying thud as the blade pierced through a skull.

Now to find out who that poor human was. I swiftly stood up and strutted to the door, pulling it open with a flourish. Just another fucking goon. I roughly extracted the dagger from his forehead and carved a smile into his pale face. Perfect.

Now where was I? Oh yes, I must rid myself of weaknesses.

I have always followed that rule, until the arrival of Dr Quinzel at Arkham. That woman will pay for the agony she has caused me. These disgusting feelings of love and safety. Enough of that. One day, I'll carve out her smile and then carve out Batman's. I will be even more powerful than I already am. Unstoppable.