The Assassination of Harley Quinn

The Cupid of Crime

"Where's my bat?" I squealed as I dodged under Batman's fist. I flipped towards the edge of the building and picked up my bat. I slammed the metal end of it into the back of Batman's knee.

Batsy grunted and charged at me, several batarangs flew towards me as I shielded myself with the bat in swift movements. I dropped the bat then threw the batarangs towards Batsy but he blocked them with the armour along his forearms.

I should get outta here, but, if I run from Batsy, I'll be a joke. No other Gotham villain will see me as an equal. I picked up my fallen bat and swung it towards Batman.

We continued to fight until he pointed a gun in my face. I smiled "uh Batsy, what ya doin' with that gun, you don't wanna hurt no one." He pulled the trigger and a rope flew out of the gun barrel, tangling itself around my waist. I giggled "oh so not a regular gun?" He grunted "Harley, you're going to Arkham" and pulled me towards his batmobile.

We sat in silence as he drove towards the dark cement building. Eventually we arrived at Arkham. I recognised the awful place I had worked at until I fell in love with Mista J. I had been imprisoned in Arkham several times but Puddin' always broke me out. Ever since our messy break up I doubt he's gonna come runnin' to help his doll face.

I crossed my arms and pouted as Batsy drove us closer to the building. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the bat mobile and handed me over to the guards at the heavy wooden doors.

"Ya know what, you're a mother fucker and when I found out who ya love the most in this world, imma kill em'," I spat at the burly guard who tackled me into my cell. As soon as he slammed the cage door, I pounded my fists against the bars. Eventually, a fiery spark spread along my hands and arms. I was paralysed from pain as the electric blue currents, wrapped around my thin, pale arms.

The current left searing scars as it tangled around my bleached skin. I fell, convulsing on the cold metal flooring below me. A crackling voice came to life from the speaker near my cage. It said "Harley Quinn, do not attempt to escape this institution or the electric shocks will be the least of your concerns."

I quickly sat up, "how dare ya threaten me ya fucker." I ran towards the cage door, slamming my shoulder into the metal. Another electric shock ran through me as I fell to the ground again.

I pouted as I sat on my thin, hard mattress. They really went all out for me. Maximum security and all that. If I wasn't tryna escape, I'd be flattered. I sat there for a few hours until an overweight, balding man entered the room. He circled my cage as he said "Harleen Quinzel, you're quite the criminal, welcome to Arkham." I giggled as I walked towards him "thanks handsome, and what's your name?" I asked as I ran my fingers down the bar beside my bed.

He laughed as he stepped towards me "you think I want to fuck a crazy bitch?" I screwed up my face at him and raced to the side of my cage closest to him. "How fuckin' dare ya say that, I'm not crazy," I screamed as I threw myself against the bars. I fell back to the floor, shaking from the electric current.

I shakily stood up as the man before me shook his head. He said "how the fuck did someone as dumb as you become a psychiatrist, let me guess, you fucked your professor?" I screamed as I dug my nails into my scalp, pulling on my fragile, bleached hair. He watched me with curiosity as he spoke to the guards beside him, "cuff her and take her to the main hall, she can eat with the other scum, let's see if they'll kill her before we do."

The two men entered my cage, holding metal batons they menacingly stepped towards me. I yelped and jumped up as I kicked the baton out of the hands of a guard. I flipped towards him, landing with a punch to his jaw. The other guards grabbed me from behind and injected me with a sedative.

I later woke up, cuffed to a table with a plate of brown paste in front of me. I picked up the spoon and mixed the paste. I ain't going ta eat this crap. A bald man with a dark question mark tattooed to his forehead approached me. He sat on the wooden table and asked "riddle me this, you experience me during the day, I call you when I like, I can be satisfied with one single bite." My stomach growled as I looked up at him, "hunger," I whispered.

He nodded, "eat Harley, you're going to need your energy when The Joker realises you're here. I heard he didn't respond well to your break up text." I grumbled as I spooned the thick, greying paste into my mouth.

After The Riddler left, a large man walked up to me and sat down on the wooden chair beside me. The panels creaked as he turned towards me. His face was covered in scars and he had thinning bleached hair. He ran a scarred hand through his short hair as he said "a lotta people want you dead Harls." I giggled as I asked "aw are ya gonna protect me from the big bad people, cause I hate ta tell ya, I could kick your ass easily."

He smiled, showing off his chipped yellow teeth as he grumbled "No Harley my name is Victor Zsazs, I'm one of those big bad people who want you did." He pulled out a piece of wood that had been sharpened. "You see, I work for Roman Sionis, you really mess with his business, so here I am, to stop you."

I sat in fear, struggling to remove my handcuffs as he thrusted the wood into my side. I waited for the pain to kick in, but as I looked down I noticed the wood had flattened and small leaves had flowered around it. The wood fell to the ground as the man's eyes widened.

Victor's brows furrowed as he stood up and looked around the room. His eyes landed in the distance and he then cowardly walked away. I breathed a sigh of relief as I looked at the piece of wood. Small blue and pink flowers had began to grow on the green branches sprouting from the wood.

A few minutes later a loud noise rung through the room as guards cuffed criminals and took them back to their cell. I quickly stuffed the piece of wood into the pocket of my orange jumpsuit. The guards who brought me here, grabbed my arms and dragged me to my cage.

Once I was in the cage they pulled off my handcuffs and left the cell. I eyed the security camera near the doorway as I cautiously pulled out the piece of wood and hid it under my pillow. Somethin' strange is going on here and I'm gonna find out what it is.