The Assassination of Harley Quinn

Bud and Lou

Harley's POV

"Ever since I saw you in Arkham, I knew there was something about you... something crazy" Selina said with a smirk as she prowled around Jade. "Well you're wrong, there's nothing crazy about me" Jade glared at her in response. "Selina, stop" I finally interjected, pushing her to sit next to Jade so I could talk to them both.

"Psychologically speaking, Mista J was born with the potential for insanity, trauma brought it on. Logically, Jade may not have been through the same traumatic events, therefore, she's not a psychopathic narcissist" I responded as I raced to retrieve my Harleen Quinzel glasses as I shoved them onto my face.

Selina looked up at me in annoyance and replied "you're not a psychiatrist anymore, Harley". "I'm still qualified ya know, maybe I can't practice cause I'm 'sociopathic' or whatever but I still studied psychology" I chirped, pushing the black rimmed glasses up my nose. "Do you even need those glasses?" Selina asked as she plucked them off my face and pocketed them. "No" I quietly said. "So you used deception to remain Dr Harleen Quinzel?" she asked with a smile, showing her perfectly white teeth. "At least I'm not a kleptomaniac" I sighed as I crossed my arms.

"Ok, enough" Jade said as she stood up and placed herself between Catwoman and I. "What do you want, Selina?" She asked as she stared down the Kitty Cat. "I'm just making sure you're not a threat and from what I've seen you're very unimpressive" she purred with an antagonising smile as her long nails scraped against Jade's shoulder in sympathy.

I gently pushed Jade aside so I could face Selina. "Kitty Cat, I think it's time ya run along to Batsy, alright?" I chirped. "What's that supposed to mean" she hissed in response. "That ya fucking that weirdo bat, now leave" I ordered as I glared into her green eyes. "Fine" she eventually replied as she retreated and elegantly leaped out the window to leave.

"Harls" Jade said as I turn to meet her. "Are you okay" she finally asked. "I'm fine, I jus don't like cats" I responded with a smile as Jade returned one. "Didn't you have hyenas?" She asked in confusion. "That's a common misconception, hyenas ain't cats or dogs, they're somethin' different" I said. "I miss Bud and Lou" I sighed after my explanation. "Where are they?" Jade questioned. "We can't get them back, Mista J has them, it's too dangerous" I answered as I gripped Jade's wrist.

"Jade, I'm serious, he'll kill ya" I said as I pulled her away from her weapons. "Come on, Harls, I've always thought this apartment needed two hyenas" Jade replied as she gently removed my hand off her wrist and held it in her own. I intertwined our fingers as I said "Mista J won't give em' up, he keeps them so I can't have my babies back" I whined as she gave me a hopeful smile.

"That's why I'm here, Harley, to stop him from hurting you, besides he can't hurt me while he's in Arkham" she reasoned as she carefully pulled me towards our 'organised' pile of weapons. "Come on, Harley, I know you want them back" she teased as she picked up my baseball bat and handed it to me.

"Fine, we can get my babies back but neither of us are dyin', okay?" I chirped as I swung my bat. "I know, I know, you would miss me too much, I couldn't let that happen" Jade said with an arrogant smirk. "Don't be too sure about that" I replied as I took a pistol from her hands and placed it into the holster on my thigh. "Hey, I was going to used that" she said as she reached for the gun.

"Nope, it's mine now" I squealed as I jumped out of her arms. "Besides ya can't catch me anyway" I chirped as I jumped up and down on the bed. Jade looked up at me with a calculating glare before she jumped up, swinging her legs under me until I fell back onto the bed and she landed over me.

Jade straddled my waist as she pulled the gun off my thigh and placed it in her belt. She looked down at me with a smirk, "that wasn't too hard" she said. "Ya know, I'd still beat ya in a fight, I'm jus bein' nice" I replied as I sat up. She went to get up but I placed my hands on her waist, "I wasn't finished talking" I said as she stopped. "You just want me like this" she teasingly replied as she pointed out the position we were in, while I rolled my eyes.

"We need a plan to rescue Bud and Lou" I replied. "Changing the subject?" Jade questioned with a massive smile on her face. "Shut up and help me plan" I whined as I pushed Jade off me. "Fine, we go into his lair, sneakily, find your hyenas, release them so they follow us and then run out as fast as we can" she explained as she packed more weapons into her belt.

"Not the best plan I've ever heard but it'll do" I chirped as I grabbed my bat and some treats for my babies. Jade followed me as we got into her car and drove through the busy streets of Gotham. "Let's get Bud and Lou back!" I squealed.