𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 | 𝐒. 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲

2.

Alani Castillo
Oakland, California.
A week later.

It's been about a week since I ran into Tiana at the store. Since then we've just been texting, you know, getting to know each other again. We've both grown a lot since college.

I'm so glad I reconnected with Tiana because outside of work, I don't know anybody here. I've become more of an introvert now that I'm older. Which is quite scary to think about because I was so loud and outspoken when I was younger. Don't get me wrong, I can still be that girl if I wanted to, but I know how to turn in on and off now.

Being forced to be separated from your greatest love will change you. I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to keep disappointing my mother just for the sake of having a carefree life. Acting like I didn't care about anything messed me up. The people around me got sick of my behaviour. I had people like Sonya Curry just waiting for me to fail so she can throw more reasons to hate me in Wardell's face. My mom got tired of me coming home late every night. To see her not care anymore broke me. I started to seek the validation my absent father never gave me by dealing with older men who just took advantage of me. Eventually I ended up pregnant and had  my best friend pay for the abortion because I couldn't afford to have a baby. And the father explicitly told me I needed to figure out what I was gonna do because he wasn't gonna be home changing diapers.

I then spent months turning my life around. Earning my mother's trust back, making my sister proud and most importantly, making amends with Wardell. I cut all the toxic people off and focused on getting my grades back up. Eventually Wardell forgave me and we were back to how we always were, except this time we were more like a couple, on the down low that is. Sonya made it clear that our relationship stayed platonic. But obviously we didn't listen. Sonya's christian boy lost his virginity to me on prom night and from there, we made a promise to be with each other forever.

After high school, I followed Wardell to Davidson college where he obviously pursued basketball. We were finally a real couple until we visited home for the holidays. Sonya was all in Wardell's face about Ayesha being the perfect girl for him, like him and I weren't a couple for the past 4 years. One night, Wardell sat Sonya down and told her that I was the one he was going to spend his life with and she obviously didn't take that well. The next day, she approached me and basically told me that I would never be good enough for him and that I should give up because she'd make sure he'd never be stuck with someone like me.

After that, Ayesha just kinda forced her way into our lives. I'd see him hanging out with her on campus. All of a sudden, she'd come to the basketball games acting like his biggest fan. I felt like a third wheel in my own damn relationship. Nearing the end of Wardell's junior year of college, he declared for the 2009 NBA draft. On draft night, his ass had the nerve to tell me that I couldn't join him at the ceremony. I just couldn't look at him the same anymore . He really choose her over me.

But all those things made me who I am today. I completely changed my life around and become the person my mother could be proud of. I wonder what Wardell would think if he saw me now. Would we have had a fair change if she wasn't in the picture? On paper, I guess she's what he needs but what about what he wants. To this day, I can't believe he settled. Or maybe I could be wrong, maybe he does love her.

I guess I'll never know.

I spent the rest of the afternoon working on some new designs for our summer collection. The fashion industry is forever changing, so I always have to be prepared for that. I sketched out some cute, flowery dresses and some bikini designs also. I haven't added a bikini section to our website yet; maybe that could change this summer.