Repaying Her Blood

Chapter twenty nine: Honesty

Marissa

I locked my eyes onto the entrance doors, hoping that Jordan did not come through. To say I was embarrassed about our little intimate moment was an understatement. I felt humiliated for some strange reason. I had kissed before but with him, it felt different. Almost like it was completely normal.

"Can you believe it, Marissa! I try to help my parents try and love each other again by doing this romantic meal for them and then they just-"

I hadn't spoken to Jordan since that day because I was shy. I actually cared about what he thought of me and my kissing skills was not something that I wanted to be judged on. Where even was-

"Marissa!" A miserable tone yelled, causing me to instantly snap my eyes to them.

"I'm sorry, Miles," I apologised, biting my lip anxiously.

"No. No apologies. Tell me what's wrong!"

"But-"

"Now!" He sternly responded, quirking his eyebrow up.

"Fine. IkissedJordanokay?" I blurted out quickly, feeling heat crawl up the nape of my neck.

"Slow down, Lightning McQueen! It can't be that terrible." He smiled encouragingly.

"I. Kissed. Jordan." I paused after each word so he got the message.

"Ok, on second thoughts, that is bad," he replied, shaking his head.

I groaned out in humiliation, wanting to smack my head against the locker behind me.

BASH. And no, that was not the sound of my head connecting with the metal locker.
Startled, I stood up straight and fixed my eyes back onto the front entrance.
Jordan had arrived...with his wonderful pals, Elijah and Andrew. All hail the three kings. Now which one would carry the gold.

Before I could make eye contact with the leader that I had locked lips with a couple of days ago, I carefully sneaked past all of the onlookers. I quickly ducked into the girls' toilets, feeling panic race inside of me.

"Ok, breathe," I murmured to myself, placing my hands on the sink as I took deep breaths. "Just breathe, Marissa."

Glancing up, I squinted at my bedraggled look in the mirror: disheveled hair, flamed up cheeks and cracked lips. I was a mess.
Stepping away from the sink, I turned my gaze to the side and jolted a little after finding someone watching me with a perplexed expression upon their face.

"Yes?" I questioned, smiling faintly.

"You ok?" She enquired, raising her eyebrow up. Just like Lorna used to do. I thought.

"I'm good. You?" I casually responded, leaning against the sink.

"As sane as I can be at this school," the girl with chestnut hair replied before sticking her hand up in front of me to shake. "Alexis. I'm new."

"Oh." I said stupidly, shaking her hand. "Well, enjoy your time at this dump of a school. Also, make sure that you don't eat the Canteen's food as it's inedible."

Alexis nodded before opening her mouth to speak, "I'm sorry to intrude but would it be alright if I could eat with you at lunch? I haven't made any friends yet..."

"Of course!" I beamed warmly at her.

"However, my friend Miles is rather awkward with new people, especially girls, so don't mind him."

Alexis' lips quirked up a bit in response, making my own start to widely grow.
With that small conversation, I just knew she would fit in well.

†

I was on my way to the Canteen when I saw a familiar dark haired boy with his hands tucked into his blazer pockets. Wonderful.
I tried turning around but unfortunately for me, Jordan spotted me in time.

"Hey! Marissa!" He called out whilst jogging over to me.

"Oh hey, Jordan. Didn't see you there," I lied.

"Right," he scoffed out. "Just admit it, you've been avoiding me all day."

"No..." I trailed off. "I definitely have not been avoiding you."

He gave me a solemn look, which had me backing away a little. "Is this...about the kiss? If so, then we can forget it ever happened."

"What?" I blurted out in disbelief, mouth agape with astonishment.

"I mean we can put it all behind us if it's really affecting you." He shrugged.

I stood there frozen. Not having anything to say until-

"You clearly want to forget about it anyway."

Rage built up inside of me and I yelled out, "When did I ever say that?!"

"Well you didn't need to say it. I can tell from the way you've been acting," Jordan nonchalantly said.

"Hang on a second. I haven't seen you since that day, so how the hell have I've been acting then?" I questioned angrily.

He didn't answer, which intensified my anger even more.

"That wasn't a rhetorical question, you idiot! You were supposed to answer but because you're too dense, I'll do it for you," I growled. "I've been distant from you, meaning that I'm afraid to talk to you and hear what you actually think about me after that kiss."

Now it was his turn for his jaw to drop open.
"I'm actually happy that we kissed. I don't want to pretend that it never happened because it's not being true to myself," I answered honestly, looking down at the ground whilst feeling vulnerable as I poured my heart out. "I-I like you Jordan and that is probably the most truthful thing I've said in months."

Bravely, I peeked up at him. My heart was pounding and my blood was racing as I took in his reaction. I hated feeling vulnerable and exposed because I knew that I could easily get hurt if I let people truly know me.
They would find out all of my insecurities and could use those against me once they were done with me.

I trusted Jordan, but how long would that trust last for?

Feeling a soft but callous hand slip under my chin, I carefully waited patiently for its owner's next move.

"You're scared," he stated bluntly, tilting my head up so I could look at him properly. "And you shouldn't be, little mouse."

His gentle caress, warm touch and soft-spoken words calmed my nerves and I almost felt like I couldn't breathe.

"So I'll be honest with you- I like you too and that kiss the other day proved so. I wouldn't change anything. Nothing at all," he whispered, his hot breath tickling my flushed cheek.

"I wouldn't either," I murmured, smiling nervously.

Jordan trailed his hand slowly down my arm, stopping once he got to my curled hands that hung beside my sides. Raising my right hand, he tentatively brought it to his mouth and pressed a chaste kiss against it.

"Little mouse...will you officially be mine?" He asked, tracing small circles on my hand.

I nodded and grinned widely. "Yes."

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stood on my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his, enjoying the warmth and sparks that came with the kiss.

I guess Gracie and Wesley could come later.

I needed a little bit of happiness in my life.