It's Not A Game Of Chance When It Comes To Love

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen…

“Who was that?” Mel called when she heard me shut the door again.

“Cold caller.” I lied. “He wanted to sell me insurance for my…windows.” I made up, instantly scolding myself for coming up with such a stupid lie. Plus, my voice broke, which made it even more unbelievable.

I didn’t care though and simply scampered upstairs, needing the refuge that being in my bedroom seemed to bring and trying to avoid any comments Mel made referring to my emotions. As soon as I arrived, I shut the door and burst into uncontrollable sobs, hoping she couldn’t hear me from the living room.

I wrapped my arms around myself and slid down the door, unable to hold in my grief any longer. I’d lost him. I’d actually lost him. There was no coming back from this. He was my teacher. Mr. Armstrong. And that was it. Full stop.

That made me simply cry harder. I could still feel the lingering effect of our kiss on my lips and wished he was still here. We’d managed three kisses so far and it killed me to know that there weren’t any more to come. No more of those tingles I got when he touched me. No more butterflies in my stomach at the thought of him touching me, even in a simple hug. No more intense moments where the sheer connection between us shone through and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

No. There would be no more of that.

I was alone now. And even though I had Mel downstairs and both Grace and Matt who could support me and give me advice, it wasn’t them that I wanted. I couldn’t express myself in the same way that I could when I was around Jord. It just wasn’t the same.

My sobs subsided slightly and I forced myself to get up. Wallowing in my misery was not the way to keep Mel at bay from asking me questions. I needed to be strong - or at least pretend to be. This wasn’t good for me either.

I attempted to finish setting the camp bed up, but when I looked at it, even I could tell I’d made a mess. I didn’t attempt to rectify it however and simply opened the bedroom door and shouted to Mel that I was going in the shower.

That would buy me some more time to compose myself and eradicate the red puffiness around me eyes that gave away how much I’d been crying.

Whilst I was in the shower, I let the overly hot water scold my skin and it ended up going all red and blotchy. At least it made my eyes blend in anyway, especially since I couldn’t stop the tears when I was underneath the water anyway.

Now I had to prepare myself mentally for talking to Mel normally. I doubted I would be able to do this without giving away some tell-tale signs that I was a wreck.

I tried to keep a straight face and disguise my anguish as much as possible, but I knew it wasn’t working very well. It was no use trying any harder though and so I just braved walking downstairs and hoping that Mel didn’t notice any change in my demeanour.

I trudged into the room, forcing myself to keep the fake smile plastered across my face. I was not about to explain myself to Mel. I wasn’t about to explain myself to anyone, in fact.