recap: becky: oh my, fucking hell! blaire you're still here. you never replied to my last message, where'd you go? you: passed out on your bathroom floor after a panic attack i said fake smiling. becky: ah well, harry also left in a rage but i will leave that to him to discuss with you... you: oh god okay i said grabbing my stuff and walking out...
-messages- harry: morning, are you safe? you: yeah i'm home x harry: just thought i'd let you know, now you're sober. whatever we was, it's finished, we're done. you: harry what? no? what's happened? harry: you fucking know what happened you slag. you: harry what, i don't please talk to me. harry: you can never keep your filthy hands to yourself, they're constantly wondering around others. you: meet me please, let's talk, i was drunk and i swear down nothing happened but i do need to talk to you. harry: i'll be round in an hour...
all of me loves harry but he can't be treating me like this. brain washed, manipulated but yet i still went back to him, why? because it's always him. it always will be.
i struggle with trust but with him it was instant. my previous relationship was traumatic and harry was the only man to ever bring me comfort. i can't loose him. i got changed into a more comfortable outfit:
blairespov- 1m
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caption: comfy but not okay. song: ivy- frank ocean.
there's only 10 minutes until harry is supposedly showing up, i plug my phone in and turn over to spotify on my tv, i shuffle my main playlist;
'blaires beats' Heather- conan gray♡︎ "why would you ever kiss me?" 505- arctic monkeys♡︎ "i probably still adore you with your hands around my neck" Wonderwall- oasis♡︎ "you're gonna be the one that saves me, and after all you're my wonder-wall" Golden- harry styles♡︎ "and I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken"
-12:55pm- the door knocked, i recognised the knock and i knew it was harry. harry: hello he said bluntly and not even hugging me. you: uh hi? i replied confused. he made his way to the living room and i turned down the music.
you: so, what's happened? harry: you blaire, you fucking happened, why can't you just love me. you: what, explain i said sitting on the sofa. harry: you can't keep you hands to yourself can you, slag! he replied, it stung and it didn't seem like him. you: what did i do now then harry i said returning the tone. harry: dancing on jj, kissing him, trying to touch him. where's the respect? if you want to act like a whore i'll fucking treat you like one he said screaming the last line. you: i- i- harry nothing like that happened i said crying. he didn't reply, he took a breather and realised what state i was in. he started punching shit, this isn't the man im in love with...
you: hey, it's okay, calm down! what time did he say this happened? harry: i don't know, i'll call him he said. he was more relaxed?
-phone call- harry: yo, you good bro? ksi: hi, yeah man i'm good! are you? harry: nah mate but i've got a question, you know you told me about what blaire was like with you at the party? ksi: yeah of course, i'd always tell you mate you're my bro! harry: yeah yeah, what time was that? ksi: i remember checking my phone when she finally left me the fuck alone and it was exactly 11:11pm mate! harry: sound bro ksi: no problem, lotta love my guy. -line cuts-
harry: see he even knows the time blaire. wow, he didn't call me bee, that hurt... a lot ! you: 11:11? let me check my camera roll i said scanning for evidence! you: HES LYING! harry: prove him wrong then he said sighing, by this point he had calmed down a lot more.
you: i took this of the two new girls that we met of becks friends!
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you: see harry, i wouldn't do that to you i said wiping my tears. harry: i'm sorry bee he said wiping my leftover tears. bee... he called me bee. you: i'm in love with you harry.
he didn't respond straight away... he pulled me for hug, kissed my head. harry: i love you. his words were so pure and beautiful.
i want to be with him but: brain washed, manipulated but yet i still went back to him, why? because it's always him. it always will be.
