Superficial Love|Slytherin Thorn

Chapter 24 - Silent battles

Dear Rose,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you to the mercy of Xander and what I did after. I'm sorry for shouting at you for quitting the team before the match. You were allowed to be scared. I'm sorry for putting you on the team when you weren't ready. I believed you could do it instead of seeing whether you actually could. I've always beleived the best of you and I always will. You're an amazing person and you don't deserve all you've been through. All I put you through. I'm sorry. I'm going to try to be better; for you and for me. I don't expect you to be friends with me after though. What I have done is unforgivable, from now on what I do shall always be to counter act it. I'm quitting as Quidditch Captain. How can I be responsable for a team, when I can't even be responsable for myself? Darwin will have the position until he leaves at the end of next year, at which time I hope to be well enough to take it over again. 

Isabelle is helping me to get better, she is being unusually nice. It's freaky. I was starting to think she'd been possessed until she woke me up this morning at 6 o'clock to go for a run. It was freezing outside. There was ice on the ground and the grass crunched underfoot. It certaintly woke me up. Since you left, I've been dead but I'm starting to feel again. Not all the time. Most Of the time I still feel dead, but there are moments when I look at the word and think wow and my heart flutters. They are becoming more frequent. That run this morning was one of them. The words looked so magical like someone had dusted it with icing sugar. It made me realize how little I have actually been living over the past 2 years and merely surviving. 

2 years of feeling dead. Can you imagine? I didn't even notice at first. I was so confused that you kissed me and left. So worried about what was happening to you that I forgot to worry about myself. I spent hours pouring over books in the library to stop myself worrying or, something I will forever regret, kissing Louella. That was it. I fell into a downwards slope. I forgot to feel. But I'm going to get better. I promise. For me and then for you, because like Isabelle made me realise, you need me just as much as I need you. You do not have to accpet me back into your life but know that I will always be there.

Love Scorpius

Scorpius scribbled his name and folded up the letter he had no intent on sending. He sighed. It felt good to put it down on paper. It cleared his mind. It allowed him to focus. 

Scorpius picked up the fountain pen and turned it in his hands; it was warm from where he'd been using it. He ran his fingers over her name engraved on the end. He slotted the pen back into the stationary holder on her desk. It had very little on it: a set of different coloured inks and quills; a jar of muggle pens and pencils; a tray of writing paper, envelopes, parchment and stickynotes; a glass paperweight with a bright blue bird that flew around the inside. 

Scorpius glanced around Rose's room, the one his parents had gifted her 2 Christmas's ago. There was very few things in there that actually indicated it belonged to Rose. The room contained few personal possessions. The photo of the slytherins on her bedside table. A slytherin banner and serveral painting Indie had done for her were stuck on one wall. She'd painted roses on the wardrobe and chest of draws. He wondered whether his mum knew,he knew she wouldn't mind even if she did. Astoria loved Rose, she'd allow her to do anything she wanted as long as it made her happy. Scorpius expected Rose had known that when she'd painted them. 

Slowly, Scorpius got up and wandered over to the bookshelf. It was practically empty. The few books on the had been given to her by him and his parents the Christmas she was given the room. Scorpius pulled a book of the shelf and opened it. There was writing on the inside cover. 

To Rose,

Merry Christmas. I hope this comes in use when 'defending' yourself from your cousins. This book is no longer in production and contains some clever spells that have gone out of fashion (which I expect your cousins haven't heard of). I'm not saying you should be jinxing your cousins but these spells definantly need test subjects.