The Publicist

Trust Issues

Jazz POV-

Anita Baker's Sweet Love filled my room as I sat in front of my vanity putting on my make up. It was An hour until my bum got out of rehearsal and would FaceTime me.

I sung along making faces I thought were sexy.

With all my heart I love you baby
Stay with me and you will see
My arms will hold you, baby
Never leave, 'cause I believe

[Chorus:]
I'm in love, sweet love
Hear me calling out your name, I feel no shame
I'm in love, sweet love
Don't you ever go away, it'll always be this way

I finished up my make up. Then started brushing my hair. I turned my brush into a mic and started singing to my mirror. Imaging it was Aug.

No stronger love in this world
Oh, baby no, you're my man, I'm your girl
I'll never go, wait and see, can't be wrong
Don't you know this is where you belong

I danced, twirling my hips. Hitting all Anita's high notes. I did the Beyoncé hair whip, where she whips all her long hair around and around.

"Get it B!"

"Ahhhhhh!" I screamed and dropped my brush when I saw DJ standing in the doorway.

"You scared me." I cut the music off.

"I hadn't heard from you for two days. I was waiting on a call. It never came. So I decided to check on you to make sure you were still alive. I now see it was nothing more than a case of dick too damn good itis. Which is a medical condition where the dick so damn good you disconnect yourself from the entire world."

"You can't just be coming over here like that DJ when Aug gets back. He's going to be staying with me for a while." I sat back at my vanity and brushed my hair.

"What's wrong with his house?"

"Nothing. He just wants us to spend time together."

"Oh meaning you're not invited to his house?"

I looked at him in the mirror and rolled my eyes. "No that's not it for your information. He just gets better rest here."

"Hmm. If his lies make sense to you then I guess."

"He doesn't have to lie."

"I'm not arguing."

"I've been over his house before."

"By yourself?"

"No. I've been busy and he's been busy. Plus we just got off your not too long ago."

"Okay." He zipped his lips.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." He shrugged.

"No tell me."

"Use gotdamn common sense Jazmine. The only people who don't see the inside of their "mans" place is sidechicks."

"Stop with the negativity. If I wanted to go to Aug's house I'm more than certain I could."

"If you say so. He probably got all type of shit he hiding that's why he don't want you over there."

"Goodbye DJ. August loves me and he wouldn't hurt me. And if you keep saying stuff like that because you're jealous then you don't need to be my friend. Because that's not fair. He makes me happy and you should be happy for me. Not planting seeds of mistrust."

"You're right. So I'm just going to leave. I know he most certainly told you about his new dancer."

"Yes he did. She's Desiree's friend."

"And because he's so trustworthy he told you about the video on The Shaderoom."

"What video on the Shaderoom?"

"Oh nothing. I don't want to plant seeds of mistrust." He mimicked my voice. "So I'm going to go. And here's your key back. I won't be needing it anymore." He sat it on the vanity and left.

I quickly got my phone and went to the shaderoom's Facebook page. There was a video of Aug at his performance the other day. I clicked it.

It was a video of him performing Pornstar and his new dancer grinding on him. While he held her waist and thrust into her.

My heart dropped. He never told me about this being added to the show. And the energy she was giving him it was obviously sexual, along with the outfit in which her ass cheeks were out didn't make me feel too good either.

Why did she have on a different outfit than Can and Des? That's not what they wore. And why was she dancing on him solo. I would've much preferred Can or Des to do it. I know them. Their my friends. But who was she to be a new dancer and get a solo spot? What makes her special?

I looked at myself in the mirror and all the trouble I was going through, just to have Aug slow grinding on some hoe under the guise of dancer. I don't know this bitch and she has not been cleared by me.

I contemplated hopping on a plane to his next show tomorrow. But this was a relationship, I was going to see what he said. And depending on if I got a bullshit answer or not, would determine my next move.

My entire mood just went down. I took off all my makeup and wrapped my hair then put a scarf on. He didn't deserve my effort right now. And I got into bed.

Exactly at 11:00, he called like he said.

"Miss you bum." He said smacking on what seemed like chicken wings. "What you doing?"

"Nothing. What are you doing?"

He chuckled eating some fries. "Why you say it like that?"

"I'm going to let you eat. I'm pretty tired." I said not really wanting to talk.

He furrowed his eyebrows and closed the food container.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. When you come back I want to spend time at your house."

"I thought we agreed to yours. I get the best rest there babe you know that." He said drinking some sprite from a bottle.

"Don't you think it's a bit odd. Not once since we've been back you've invited me over and we're a couple."

"We been busy you know that."

"Yeah whatever. Goodnight Aug." I rolled my eyes.

"Where is this coming from? Who in your ear?"

"Nobodies in my ear. I don't like you hiding shit from me and lying." I slightly yelled.

"You tripping. I haven't lied to you about shit. Ain't no bitch at my house. If you want to go to my house now go. My spare key is in the flower pot on the stairs. And my alArm code is 0415. Go. Since you think I'm keeping shit from you. Check anything you want."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.

"And I thought I was the one with trust issues. I ain't hiding shit. What more do I have to prove Jazz? You wanted me to make you my girl, I did. I kissed you and I don't do that. I told you I loved you. I sincerely made love to you. My words and my actions are all I got. I can't give nothing else."

"You know you're on the shade room. A video of you grinding all on your new dancer. Her shorts so little she might as well be naked."

"You know what, I'm starting to see you one of them chicks that like drama and I'm not with all that. So imma hang up before I do or say something I regret. Your insecurities are out of control. And I can't help you with that. You got to work through that on your own."

"You not gon explain the video?"

"No because no matter what I fucking say you gon come to your own conclusion. So you have a nice night." He hung up.

I laid back on my bed and sighed. Was I wrong for wanting answers and asking them? You know a lot of guys play that you insecure card to cover up their dirt. I wanted to believe Aug, but I guess knowing his past and knowing he was a celebrity it was hard to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I didn't know what to believe anymore. Just an hour ago I felt totally on cloud nine, but thanks to the rain, my cloud was now gray. 😩