Identity [Gerard Way] *Completed*

Chapter Thirty Three

"You shouldn't be here."

This is the first thing he says to me. The first thing he says instead of anything else. He could've said he was relieved. He could've said he was worried about me. There's none of that, though. None of that "oh my god, you're alive!" stuff. It's not a very happy reunion. Not as joyful as I had expected. If anything, the feeling in the air is tired out. Depressing.

Gerard's voice is quiet and muffled through the wall when he speaks, making it harder to read his tone. I wish I could see him, see his face. I wonder if he's happy to hear my voice. I wonder if he's been sitting in the dimness for hours on end, nothing but his mind to keep him company, nothing but the walls to look at. If he's been thinking about me, worrying, as much as I have. I never know if he ever thinks about anyone- he barely thinks of himself. But he must. Because he cares about my safety, for whatever reasons. I know. I see it.

But it's this stupid wall. The stupid wall with no apparent purpose at all. If it wasn't there, this may be easier for me. I wouldn't feel as isolated from him as I do.

Why is the wall there, anyway? Why is it necessary? What makes him different from the rest? Why did he get put in this weird cell? Why not me? Just more questions that will be left hanging in the air, never to be answered. Thinking of this causes me to sigh.

I lick my lips and think of something to say back to him. I feel strange. Like I'm not even talking to him at all. I'm not sure if I can talk to just a wall. "You didn't think I'd abandon you, did you?"

There's a pause and a small shuffling noise on the other side. "I don't know. I... just don't want you to be here."

"Why?" I feel strangely paranoid. Maybe it's because of the noises that are softly coming from a distance. "I'm gonna get you out of there."

"Lynx..."

"How do I get you out?" I feel my mind starting to race as I stare at the wall, as if he were standing there. "There's gotta be some sort of lever or button, o-or maybe one of these keys will-"

"Lynx," His voice is calming, and I suddenly feel like I've been talking too much. "Just slow down a minute, okay?"

I draw out a slow breath, heart pounding. It's hard to stay calm. I was calmer a couple seconds ago, but now that the shouting is becoming louder, it's making me nervous. And that nervousness is turning into a very frantic anxiousness.

There's a brief silence.

I notice light shifting from underneath the door, and I can hear his feet dragging against the ground. He's probably walking over to the door. "I don't think you can."

"What do you mean?" I ask, pressing myself against the door. The surface of it is like ice, the cold almost painful. I nearly back away from it, it stinging my skin- but I don't. I deal with it.

"You can't get me out of here." Now that I'm closer to the door, I can hear Gerard breathing. It sounds heavy. Not a good sign.