Identity [Gerard Way] *Completed*

Chapter Twenty Nine

It's dark, but I can still see Gerard's face. He's smiling at me. It's something he rarely ever did, but when he did smile, it made me feel better on the inside. Maybe that's why I'm seeing him now, amidst all this darkness, because I want to feel better.

I think I've been asleep.

It's hard to tell. I only presume that I've been sleeping because I can feel that my eyes are shut, that I'm still laying on the grass. My breathing is slow and peaceful, that I can be sure of. And all I've been seeing for the past...well, however many hours have gone by, is misty images.

I don't know, they're misty. It's hard to explain. It's almost like the fog in the parking lot, I guess. Just imagine that fog, and then imagine faces fading in and out. Most of what I see is Gerard, mainly only him smiling or looking happy. The other odd times, there are faces I can't put. I haven't seen them before. Random people I may have passed, only gotten a glimpse of.

And now the images are starting to change.

It's Gerard again. Except this time, he's closer. It's almost like I can feel his breath close to mine, or feel his hands on mine again, or feel his warmth...

That trail of thought dissipates. Gerard's still there, though, long eyelashes blinking at me thoughtfully. He's just smirking, nothing else. Wind gusts by, and messes up Gerard's hair- but I can't feel it. I don't even know where we are in this image. I can't see myself. Gerard's only crouched close to my face, staring at me. He doesn't say anything, just sits there. I wish I could say something. Though, I guess it would be pointless. It isn't really him.

Then Gerard's face begins to shift. His bright eyes become duller, eyebrows creasing into a sad stare. The smirk on his face pulls into more of a depressed frown. And the warmth, the warmth closed around my hands- becomes cold, the grip tightening. I'm somehow able to stare down at my hands, feeling strangely starting to close back in on me. I can feel the bitter wind reappearing, the ground underneath me fading back, the pain spreading throughout my body.

I look back up, and notice Gerard is disappearing as swiftly as everything else is returning. I wish he wouldn't go. This is the most vivid I've seen him, I don't want him to leave right away. Not while he's so close. Not while I can literally feel him right near me, even when he isn't.

The look on Gerard's face distorts into the same awful look he gave me when he was pulled away by the police. The tears that are so unusual on his face, the way he stretched out his destroyed hand, his pleading voice- the whole moment is repeating itself in a disorienting blur.

I want to scream. I want to cry again. Why am I seeing this? What happened to me after I passed out? Am I dead? What is... what is...

A bitter wind hits me like a shovel to the face.

I let out a painful gasp, the world ramming hard into me. My eyes snap open as if forced, the grey sky and clouds shifting slowly, like nothing ever happened. I stare at the sky, unsure if I'm really staring at it. There are small dots floating in the dimness- birds- shaped in a V. They glide past, not a care in the world. Not a single clue of the madness that's occurring beneath them.