Identity [Gerard Way] *Completed*

Chapter Thirteen

So here I am. Standing in front of Gerard's house, staring at the door. I feel more nervous about this than I should be. But I guess I have a pretty good reason. Gerard is a complicated person- say something wrong and everything goes wrong. What if I can't do this, and I'm left by myself again?

I guess that would mean going back to the sewer and moving on.

I shake the thought away and snap my attention back to the door. I just need to stop thinking about this and do it. I sigh deeply, bring my hand to the door, and knock. I hardly notice that my hand is actually shaking a little as I wait for a response. There's no answer. Maybe he knows it's me and isn't answering on purpose. Or maybe he never made it back...

I decide not to think about that. He definitely made it home. He had to- he was the first one out. Not to mention the smartest, out of all those frantic and clumsy people in the shelter.

I've made the decision to knock again, and louder this time. In desperation, I place my head up to the door and listen for any footsteps. At first, I don't hear any. Just the strange, muffled silence of my ear pressed to the door.

But then I hear a couple hesitating creaks in the floor, and most of my worries drop.

I hear the handle being slowly turned, and I jump away from it. The door opens with a slow creak. I hold my breath as the door stops opening, a not-very-happy looking face peering out.

"Gerard! Thank goodness you're okay, I thought-" He interrupts before I can even finish my outburst.

"What're you doing here?" Well. I can't exactly say I wasn't expecting that, 'cause I was.

"Look, I'm really sorry for-"

Gerard opens the door all the way and squints his eyes at me. "Save it. I don't want to hear whatever you've got to say."

I go to say something, but Gerard decides to continue.

"Why don't you just go back to that shelter? Seems you like them better than me." Gerard goes to close the door, but I reach out and stop it from closing.

"But, Gerard, didn't you hear all the shouts? Didn't you see the police?"

Gerard looks suspiciously back and forth. "...Maybe."

"Now all of them are gonna die. All because of-"

"Me? Yeah, I know." Gerard gives me this look that only makes me feel guilty, then goes to close the door again.

"Wait!" I hold my hand strong on the door, so he can't close it on me. "Can we just start over? I'm sorry if what I said hurt you in any way, that really wasn't my intention."

"So, what, now that all the others are dead now, you're gonna come crawling back to me?" Gerard doesn't give any sign of forgiveness in his face.

I don't know what to say. Is that how it is? Am I just using him because I have no one else? Is that what it really is? "No, that's not it at all!"

Gerard rolls his eyes. "Sure, I believe you."

"I wasn't even planning on staying there..." I say, not even convinced by myself.

"It sure seemed like you were back there," Gerard's tone doesn't lift. "Or have you all of a sudden changed your mind?"

I'm clearly losing this battle. What can I say now?

"You know you want to leave," He says, all of a sudden. "Stop wasting your time trying to get to me. It isn't going to work."

"I don't want to leave." I say it firmly, then cross my arms.