The Scarlet Luna

[C42]Imperturbable Vampire

I'm going to have nothing when this is all over.

If it's not going to be from Lamia tearing my pack apart and my family to pieces...

It will be because my own family will turn on each other with knives in throats.

Niall wants to protect the family but he doesn't understand how much damage he's actually done to it. My father must feel something fierce towards Niall. Betrayal? Of course. I don't know who will kill him first, but the whole family is out to kill him now. Cal's death will not be forgotten by me. I will confront Niall with it when I see him again. I will ask him why... why did he choose Lamia over his own pack and blood?

I didn't even want to come home this season. Because I thought this life was dull and meaningless. I hate who I am and what I am. I hate this whole damn system. I hate my family. I hate how Vivienne still clings to them with those hopeful eyes that we can all be normal. I wanted her to wake up. Ask me to run away with her. I would follow her anywhere, and I have. When I came home I wanted her to see the pack house alone. Experience it alone and hate it as much as I do. None of this was who we were. Does Niall feel the same way? Is that why he's secretly this whole other being we haven't met?

Despite my feelings...

I never wanted 'home' to blow up like this. I would never wish bad things on good pack members. Family most of all. I believed family was thick like blood. But I don't know anyone I'm actually related to. I lived in the same house as them and they're all so different from who I thought they were. Which makes me hate them even more. They hate their lives and won't do anything to change it. I don't want to live like this anymore.

I promise, when I live after this... I plan to find a cure.

'You were born, stupid. There is no cure.' Moro's voice echoed in my head like he was here with me. Somewhere inside me. But, I could sense he wasn't here. He must be listening to my thoughts.

'The moon goddess can bless my disease away. I can find out how she does it. Maybe from a witches' brew.'

'You would get rid of me?' He sounded sad. But, he knew all along how disappointed I've been to have this curse. I wish I was half human. That, I got the chance to live as one and never worry about mates or pack duties. All this responsibility sucks. I didn't ask for any of it.

I was gifted this life by fate. I was given a chance to make a difference, even just a small amount. Fate works in mysterious ways. I believe she mated Emmett and Vivienne for a reason. They were destined to reject each other. I believe Vivienne and Brendon were destined to cross paths. I believe Vivienne is leading her own life by fate's desires. That's the way I want to live. I want her to just come with me when I leave. I want her to realize she HAS a choice. She doesn't have to be Luna. She doesn't have to be with someone from this pack.

I'm going to figure out a way to break free from the werewolf's curse. I swear I will not fall in love with Eder when I see him. I will not focus the rest of my life wanting to please him. I will break free from fate like my sister did. Even if it means rejecting him. I will be my own person.

I'm sorry fate.

I don't want whatever you've got planned for me. I'm going to save my sister and get the hell out of this pack. Even if that means finding a way to make sure Brendon doesn't survive this war? I'm not sure I can be that dark... But, I don't think I can support that selfish bastard being my brother in law. Not when he literally didn't consider her feelings when trying to make her pack Luna.

Luna. What a silly role. It literally means breeder. That's all the role is. I don't want my sister in that role... Anymore then I want to see my mom choosing to be one. I can't believe they think those alpha's love them. Love is the way I've watched over my sister with care all these years. It's dedication and quiet. It's sneaky but sure of its self. I know for fact I love my sister and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I want her to find love... I want her to find herself... I want her to see there is more then just going back home after college to breed and settle.