𝐈'𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐜𝐞

𝑠 𝑒 𝑣 𝑒 𝑛 𝑡 𝑦

Cassandra's POV
(February 14th 2022)
Valentine's day <3
..

Since I was little, for as long as I can remember, I've always had terrible nightmares.

I wouldn't have nightmares often but they were so terrible, they made a lasting impression. I'm talking the kind of nightmares that made you wish you wouldn't have fell asleep in the first place. The kind of nightmares that are based around your surroundings.

Once in awhile something in one of those nightmares would happen in real life, and when I would go up to Julia, or Christiana, they would wave me off.

"It's just Dèjà vu. Those things happen. Don't stress yourself over it, Cass.." Christiana would mumble and I would nod cause that sounded about right.

I would nod because sometimes, at very certain times, I felt like I had a gift. Of course It sounds silly, but the Dèjà vu would be so strong, It would literally have me sitting up there feeling like I basically predicted how an entire situation happened. How it played out.

Christiana would say that and I would just nod and leave it at 'Dèjá vu' cause I don't wanna be predicting things in my nightmare and that's 'cause my nightmares be having something to do with death.

A few months back, I had some recurring nightmares that would focus on Hailey's death.

It would start with me waking up to the loud shrill of my cellphone ringing (it would ring particularly loud on that early morning..) and when I answer it without taking a look at the caller ID, I would be greeted by Eric's shaky voice. His words will spill out quickly and slowly all at once. In the dream, I never hear him actually say the words, 'Hailey killed herself' but that's all I need to know because in a split second, I'm transported into a cold funeral home, approaching a pretty white casket, dressed in the prettiest dress I own. I would take a step and someone would cry loudly.

Everyone in the room is crying.

Fantasia grips onto the casket tightly and Duke would try to get her to let go, but it doesn't work because she's grieving. She's upset and she's grieving, and her daughter is dead. And it would be wrong to pull a mother away from her only daughter's casket, so they let Fantasia cry. And she does just that. She cries.

Then eventually Andre and Jalen will walk me to the front. I would pass a silent crying Rosie, an inconsolable Bridget with Dimitri babbling in her lap because he has no idea what's going on. And I would pass a load of others because Hailey was widely liked.

I would shakily run my finger across the edge of the casket and watch as Hailey lies there, unmoving.

Hail's hands are crossed gently across her chest and her wrist are covered with thick bandages. I would go as far to say that they are overly bandaged.

As if Hailey had cut the lines too deep, the mortician could barely look at them. So he had no choice but to hide them. And it doesn't matter if he does hide them- because after the funeral, Hailey will be buried underneath the ground - and she will be hidden.

So in a way, if her wrist are hidden first, it doesn't even matter too much.

I never cry in the dream because I wake up too quickly. But I do wake up. And when I wake up, I cry a little. 'Cause dreams like that make me cry, 'cause I don't handle death well, and most importantly, I know I wouldn't be able to handle Hailey's death well.

"Stop looking at me like that, you fucking weirdo.." Hailey mumbles, snapping me out of my thoughts. A smile plays on her face and she breathes out a breath of cold air, attempting to bury herself into her huge winter coat. "Are you thinking of something?" She asks curiously and I quickly shake my head, taking her exposed hands into my gloved ones, squeezing tightly.