Lucky

Chapter 76: Worthless

Athena's pov

I wake up feeling disconnected from everyone. Everything feels so away and together as if I'm the outcast. Feeling Lucky's side it's empty.

Finally managing to get out of bed I go into the bathroom washing my face brushing my teeth. I look like utter complete shit. I feel like it too. Throwing my hair in a ponytail I put on a hoodie going downstairs.

Giovanni see's me crawling to my feet. Picking him up I sat him in his high chair going to get his baby food. "Good morning Bambina" Lucky smiles at me, placing a plate of food in front of me with tea and fruit.

I give him the best smile that I can Turing to Gio. He happily eats the food I feed him. Mia gives me a weird look asking with her facial expressions if anything's wrong.

Shaking my head no she doesn't believe me but continues to feed Federico. "Ena are you coming with to see Lucky's paintings?" Enzo asks while cleaning Vinny's face.

I forgot he wanted to do that today. "Um I don't know"  I look down at the empty jar then at Giovanni who is just looking at me.

Everything left my mind in that second. "Mommy" Luciano says I feel tears prick in my eyes and my lungs start to close up. No words are coming out.

All eyes are on me, some of worry, others of pity. I feel the judgment of their stares but no one speaks. Lucky places a glass of water in front of all the untouched food.

Picking it up I feel my hands trembling trying to take a drink of it. Why is a simple task so difficult right now? The glass slips out of my hand. The loud sound of glass shattering on the floor makes everyone go quiet.

Lucky tells Luciano to stay on the chair moving Gio's high chair so he won't be in the way. The glass looks sharp. It'll definitely hurt if I get cut but I hope I do get cut.

Blood is easier than drugs.

It'll harm me but not other people's drugs they'll see the effect of it and pity me. Try to stop me. Everyone bleeds blood, no one can stop blood.

The glass makes cuts against my skin, blood drips on the floor, the pain makes me feel some type of emotion. "Bambina your bleeding I'll get the glass" Lucky grabs my arm putting a towel on it to stop the bleeding.

"I'll get the glass to clean her arm she just needs to put cream on it" Enzo says Lucky takes me to our room making me sit on the counter looking through the cabinets. He wets a rag cleaning the blood that trickled down my arm.

I don't look him in the eyes but let him clean the cuts. He places a kiss on my arm before he puts the cream on it. "Athena look at me" I shake my head no he puts two fingers on my chin lifting my head up making me meet his eyes.

"Athena what's wrong" Tears start to come into my eyes again I bite my lip shaking my head no. "Athena I don't care what it is just tell me, we'll work it out" Tears wet my face I can't hold them back anymore.  Lucky wipes my face pulling me into his chest.

"It's alright baby you don't have to talk right now, we can talk later if you want to cry then cry, you want to yell then yell, you want to break something break everything I don't care. I just need you to be alright" He rubs my back letting me sob into his chest.

I don't even know how I'm feeling. I feel as I'm fading away from the world and death is coming closer to me. It's waiting for me to finally accept it's offer and join my parents. Lucky lifts me up walking out the bathroom laying me on the bed. Continuing to cry in his chest he whispers sweet words in my ear telling me how much he loves me.

"Do you want to be alone?" I look into his eyes feeling as If I'm trying to make it to him. It's like I'm going one step forward then I take 3 steps back. Lucky pulls me closer to him "Athena baby do you want to be alone?" I look at him sniffling trying to hold more tears back.