Superpowers

Chapter 18 : Time Manipulation

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Chapter 18 : Time Manipulation

Tuesday 20th December 2020

time manipulation
/məˌnɪpjʊˈleɪʃ(ə)n/

noun
noun: manipulation; plural noun: manipulations
the action of freezing time.
"At this moment, I wish we could freeze time."

It's been over 3 weeks since I got admitted into hospital and let me just say, it has been awful. Constantly being babied by every family member ever after I was allowed visitation and still not ONE of my friends.

Turns out the hospital is much stricter on the 'no non-family visitors rule' than I thought. Apparently, the pressure of seeing people other than my family could 'push me over the edge' when in reality the thing that's gonna push me over the edge is if great auntie Kath gives me one more of her sloppy kisses right on my mouth.

Yuck.

And it's ridiculous, I know.

But today I am finally free! I'm being released from this hell hole and going home. Finally, I'll be able to see actual people and not just my brother's slappable face.

Before I leave, they have to do a few more 'routine checks', so my family is going to pick me up later. They diagnosed me with a binge eating disorder, however apparently I've been stopped before things could go 'too far'. After the lengthy checkup to see if I'm the right weight and so on, I go to the cafe to pick up a snack.

It feels peculiar to eat actual food, partly because I've been practically force fed for the last 3 weeks via tubes but also because I never really chose to eat anymore.

But things are about to change.

I have a food diary, which tells me how much I need to eat each day and I log in the things I eat to show my therapist.

It sounds stupid, but I have a strong desire to prove everyone wrong, even though I'm going to have to get better. I've had daily therapy sessions which are helping me to change my mindset and apparently there's a 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

Grabbing a sandwich, banana and nutrition bar, I go to pay. I look down at the food, and it makes me gulp. Uh, I don't think I can finish this. Placing back the nutrition bar, I go to buy the rest.

It's okay.

I'm fine.

Like Dr Mosse taught me, I take deep, centered breaths and focus my attention on one thing. Slowly, I peel back the banana skin and take a small bite from the top. The feeling of it in my mouth makes me want to gag. Sitting alone in the corner of the cafe, I start to feel my body fight it. I don't want to do this. I can't do this.

Walking up to the bin, I go to dispose of my food but then I remember Dr Mosse's words - 'the recovery may be hard but the regret is harder'. I can't live like this anymore. For my family's sake, for Levi's sake. For my own sake.

Come on Allie.

Wiping away the tear that's rolling down my cheek, I take another bite, then another and in a few minutes I've eaten almost half. Folding up the banana, I put it in a banana case and save it for later with the pulled pork and lettuce sandwich.

That's good for now.

Leaving the cafe, I make my way through the familiar halls of my hospital ward and to where my bed is. I pass a few familiar faces, Sharon the cleaner, Dr Watts and the odd patient I've come to know. We have a few conversations and they all talk about how much better I'm looking. After a couple more lefts and rights and I'm nearly at my ward.