Best Friends Brother │ Quinn Hughes

chapter 23

Jack's POV

I drove myself early to the diner, I wanted to make sure that I was there to order our famous milkshake. I dressed in nicer clothes than usual, I wore a grey sweater and jeans, I wore the bracelet that she gave to me when I left a couple of months ago. I wanted to see her. I should have reached out but weeks ago when Cole told me, it was all a lie. I didn't know what to do or what to think. The words kept repeating in my head. I never in my life worried about our friendship because I loved her so much in every way possible and I trusted her with my life. Questions ran rapidly through my brain. I heard the bells on the door jingle and that's when I knew it was time. 

"Hi," I said with a small soft smile on my face. She stood before me

"Hi" She breathed out. She sat down in the chair facing me, she looked good, like she had finally taken care of herself.

"How have you been?" I asked, she nodded, lifting her face to meet mine. 

"I've been good. I have been working on myself, I am doing good in school and I am now working at the coffee shop." She had this sort of glow to her. "But I've missed you and Luke," She said making me smile, "and Quinn," she whispered the last part. 

"Hey, I am sorry for what I did back at the hotel-"

"I kept things secret for a long time and maybe it would be best if I explained everything to you." She cut me off and said, I nodded my head in agreement but I didn't know if I was ready to hear it. I don't know if I was ready to hear the truth behind the lies that were fished to me every day of our friendship. "When we were at the hotel that day, I got out of control, the first time in a while that that has happened. I had for years been taking a medication that helped me with a multitude of this, anger being one of them. But I thought I was better, I was in a relationship with Quinn and I had you and Luke in my life. But I had a dark side that no one even knew about, Cole broke me open and I finally told someone, I wished it was you, years ago but I didn't want for it to be a big deal and have this hold you back on the life you were supposed to live. I was self-medicating with a prescription drug that I bought off the street. They help me get through the day and help me not remember all of my secret life. Pills that make all the horrible memories and flashbacks go away. The day I met you as a kid was the day I knew I was going to be out of my real life. I never told you anything because I didn't want to be the "charity child" if that makes sense. I was abused from a young age, physical, verbal, sexual, anything that would hurt me, he did. He was a family member, he did things you would not believe. I guess when I was younger, I didn't think it was wrong. I thought that that was how people loved others. Until I was a little older and got to know you and your family is when I realized it wasn't. Throughout the years it got really bad and my mom did nothing about it when she found out. She was always with some new guy every day. A couple of them I liked and was sad that they didn't come back. Some would leave gifts for me by my windows like stuffed animals, cards, or candy. When the abuse got worse, I realized that it wouldn't get better. I was in a very dark place when I first attempted. I was only a child, I attempted multiple times throughout the years and failed at all of them, which made me even more unstable. When you were gone to a hockey tournament that I couldn't make because it was my mother's birthday, I went to a party. I got drunk and smoked, along with that, I tried Molly. Then he assaulted me. Bryce assaulted me. I was completely out of it. I could see and hear what was happening around me but could not move my body. That's when he came onto me. I cried until it was done, I felt helpless. Completely and underly helplessly. I tried to tell him to stop but it only came out as a whisper. He looked down at me and laughed. I remember his words spilling out of his mouth constantly. "Jacky boy isn't here to help you now isn't he," I remember his face and can constantly see him in my dreams, Bryce. After that day, I went. completely off the rails, I did things to myself throughout those years that were hidden from the naked eye. I got addicted to pills, wouldn't eat for days, and cried in my sleep as I would have constant nightmares. Not eating was another way of coping with my issues. I wouldn't eat for days, I got super low in weight, dangerous even. But it was one of the only things that kept me feeling in control of myself and my life. So yeah. I guess my life was a lie to you but there were good reasons why I did lie."

"I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry Wes," I got up from my seat and walked over to the other side and held her against my body. "I should have seen this, I failed you. I'm so sorry." 

You're not alone! Please seek help if needed.

Information about abuse hotlines:

Call: 1-800-799-safe (7233)

or TTY 1-800-787-3244

Text: "START" to 88788

The National Suicide Prevention Hotline:

1-800-273-8255

If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself please reach out to a trusted friend, family, or crisis line. My messages are also always open.