Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 66: Any Regrets?

Ryan's POV

Tuesday, December 21 – Charlotte, North Carolina

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, taking a deep breath as that can only mean one thing. Sturgill was already down here, and if it was someone else that meant we had an invasion.

I was curious as to what he'd say. I was also excited to see him after the fun that we had last night, a perfect reunion of everything. I also wondered what it'd mean for our future together.

"Good morning," I say as he comes down the stairs. A slight smile on his face gave me hope as he came into the kitchen for what was to come. "I made breakfast – just as I remember."

"The only difference is usually I cook for you," he replies, to which I nod. It was actually refreshing to hear him remember the little things. "Thank you, by the way."

"For the breakfast, or for last night?" I couldn't help myself but ask the question as his reaction would probably set the tone for the future.

"Both, I suppose. I don't regret what happened, Ryan. I needed that. I needed something to help me feel better and you gave me that, unconditionally might I add. I appreciate that." That was certainly what I wanted to hear, or at least the beginning. The selfish side of me wished it'd turn into more.

"I always told you that I cared about you, loved you, and hated so much that I fucked it up." A look in his eyes and maybe I shouldn't have said that because he's thinking about those words now. Are we screwed?

"I hate that too, because I can't let myself forget that and move forward past that. you'll always have a special place in your heart, and I know that I can always turn to you. But Ry, I can't bring myself to go back to what we had because of those feelings." There was the sad reality, the same knife that continued to get dug into me and twisted every single damn time that we saw each other. Why did he have to remind me?

"If that wasn't on the table, would things be different?" It was another question worth asking, considering everything that he had with Alex now. Although I admittedly had to question that considering he came to my door last night.

"No, because I admittedly have found some special and different and unique, and to the point I never want to let go with Alex. It's that tenderness that couldn't allow him to do what you did last night without a thought, but it's that piece of him that I want to hold tight to me and never let go." I also had to wonder how that same side of him would react when and if he found out about what happened last night. Maybe I should make sure to have the light saver handy.

"Are you going to tell Alex?" I knew that I wouldn't say anything myself, as this was his web to tangle. I actually wasn't sure if I was going to tell Isabelle yet when she got back from her trip, either. Wait, I kenw I had to tell her. It was lies that made the pain unbearable through what happened the first time so there was no way that we would be repeating our first round of mistakes.

"I was hoping to keep this as our dirty little secret, your remedy for my problem. Perhaps continue these visits whenever we either feel necessary." I watch as he glances down at the table, and knew there was more coming, and probably not what I wanted to hear either. "But I can't do that, Ryan. I know what it feels like to be on the other side, lied to and hurt. I could barely bare that pain, so I couldn't bring myself to make him suffer through that. I am going to tell him."

"Good luck with that, by the way. My door is open should things go sideways." Let's face it – neither of us knew how Alex would react. We could each predict things, and I didn't think it'd be pretty. He'd probably scream about it being the wrong decision, and then come yell at me. Chase probably had a better idea of Alex's reaction, though. I just hoped for everybody's sake it was too much of a disaster.

"Thanks, and I hope that is always the case because like I said, I appreciate what you did. Last night was a lot of fun." I can't help but smile in response as my heart wasn't complaining one moment about what happened. It was certainly a night filled with pure bliss.

"I almost want to say that I hope we can do it again." There had to be something on the table for the future, right?

"I can't promise you anything, but you're still pretty special to me Ryan."