They say some things happen for a reason, and that may be the case here.
What if Alex overheard Ryan and Isabelle for a reason at the diner? He had always wanted to be there for Chase, to have him as his closest friend and confident - possibly more...
Setting the bottle on the table, I smile as I sit down alongside her.
The terms of our agreement were simple. She was to hang out with a couple times a week, and when significant others are allowed at the track, she is to appear with me on pit road a couple times throughout the year. It was why she had showed up at my house tonight – all about looking the part.
Truth be told, I had no complaints about the nights we hung out together. The conversation over her Smirnoff and my jack and coke were always intriguing as I got to learn more about the simple girl who simply accepted payment to act a part.
I wasn't about to deny each week we spent together brought my intrigue more, and caused me to want these nights more than any other. A glance into her eyes, and I couldn't help but wonder.
"I thought you would've been in Colorado with him," she comments after reaching for her bottle and taking the first sip, my eyes focused on her tongue wrapping it around the rim. Stop it Ryan – you're not supposed to be thinking about that.
"You know what I think about snowboarding," I offer back in response. Sure, I enjoyed going with some friends, and enjoying drinks and conversation later. Sure, it was a fun pastime to have and enjoy. However, I wasn't about to spend a whole week on the slopes just to get in one last fix before the snow melted.
"It would've been the perfect cover for you both to spend time together freely without judgment considering nobody would've thought twice. I thought you would've been taking advantage of the time." If this would've been a couple years ago, maybe even last year, she is right as my heart and eyes would've solely been focused on my Georgia peach. Instead, though, for some reason I was more intrigued about this meeting; it had been part of my reason for denying his request to join him.
"Do you think Alex will say something?" I almost wanted to scream as soon as the question left her lips.
While most nights became a blur, that night was still crisp in every thought in my mind. I remembered the conversation at the table, finally allowing my true feelings to shine through – followed by an immediate pit in my stomach of worry in figuring out that his own teammate had been listening.
Although I know the main thought in my mind should be Alex and wondering what he was going to do, it wasn't – but rather on Isabelle. I still found myself analyzing her reaction to every single thing I said, wondering what could be, wondering if there was anything valid to my claims.
It'd been almost a month since the conversation – but yet you could say in some ways it still felt like yesterday by how I thought about her words. In her mind, it seemed to be that way with Alex as she couldn't it go, regularly asking me at least once a week. I liked the reminder, almost wanting to tell myself she didn't want to forget due to having her own feelings.
What if we were both just sitting here waiting for the other one to act?
"I don't know," I offer, trying to stay on topic for now. Maybe I should ask her about that. "It's been a mont-"
"What if he does say something?" She cuts me off, and now I wonder if I am off-base on my thoughts due to my own motivation.
"We'll deal with it, okay? Let's just worry about tonight." Okay, I didn't mean to let those words out just like that. What was I thinking?
"Ry...." Clearly I need to rip my tongue out as she was seeing through it immediately.
"You did come over for a reason, right?" Seriously, I've only had a couple sips but you'd think there was truth serum or a whole bottle in my system by how I was speaking.
"It's about appearances, remember? It's almost like you want Chase to find out." As much as my heart seemed to fonder over the woman before me, that was purely against the case. As much as I seemed to be falling for her, I wasn't ready to let go of my peach so easily – and I knew that'd happen if he got any idea about what could happen here tonight.
"I love Chase a lot and he still means more than anybody in my life. However, I can't help but wonder what if when it comes to you – and quite frankly, I don't think I could ever answer those questions entirely." Willingly that is, as you have to agree upon the first steps.
"You said we could if we explored those feelings. Is that why you invited me over while he is away, Ryan?" Is that a crime? Probably by the definition of cheating, but I don't want to totally cut him off if this is just nothing.
"I know you have feelings for me, Isabelle. What's the harm in a little kiss?" It'd answer a lot of my questions – like what your lips taste like, how soft they are, and what you could possibly do to me as I find myself lost in those lovely eyes of yours.
"What if the kiss leads to more?" Part of me wished that to happen – while the other part of me knew that'd be the wrong thing.
"What's wrong with that?" Feeling my phone vibrate, I immediately hit shut off as I couldn't take anything interrupting this moment, even if it was him calling me.
"We both know this is wrong, Ryan. Maybe I shouldn't have come over..." There's the voice of reason. For a moment, it had shuffled to side – just like mine seems to not care tonight at all. Maybe the distance and loneliness and everything is getting to me – or maybe this is just what she does to me.
"If there was nothing at all, we wouldn't have gotten anywhere with this conversation. Now, are we going to keep pondering and ignoring the elephant in the room, or do something about it?"
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Alex Bowman's POV
I don't know what brought me this way home, but there was something that told me I should take this road on my way home after dinner with friends. It was a little out of my regular route, but it took me by a lot of familiar places.
Pulling down a street, I could easily recall a bunch of the residences in these houses. That one there with the red front door belonged to one of my engineers, while a RCR crew member lived just a couple doors down. The last street on the house right in the corner, well, that belonged to a fellow competitor.
As I roll on by, my foot comes slightly off the gas pedal as I look into his driveway. I saw a familiar red Fiat and recognized it immediately. I knew the car as I had seen her drive it through town, at his house before, and at friend's parties.
Taking a deep breath, my mind immediately heads back to the diner and I feel a lump in my throat immediately. I was probably worrying for no reason, but why would Ryan be home and spending time with her when he could be away with Chase right now?
What if this had been going on since their conversation on the diner?
Shaking my head, I knew I was going overboard with my thoughts as I allowed to continue driving, turning back down another street. It was just my own feelings and worry coming through. It was just my own conflicted thoughts on what I should've done, wishing some days I would've said something and others knowing I did the right thing.
There was only one thing left to do.
"Hey Jimmie," I start, after the usual conversation beginners you'd expect between ex-teammates who had remained good friends. "I need your advice on something. I have a good close friend, who is committed to someone. But what if you heard the someone that he was supposed to be committed with sharing feelings for someone else?"
