Unchartered Waters ✅

Chapter 23: The Circuit of the Americas

Alex's POV

Sunday, May 23 – Circuit of the Americas

Seeing the big wide smile on his face, I could only share one of my own.

Was anybody really surprised that Chase Elliott won at COTA?

Sure, nobody wanted to win a race that was rain shortened. But let's face it – he was the master of road courses after and he had driven away from the field at the end of the day with some of the quickest lap times.

He was also the same damn reason why I had ran so well today. He shared some tips during the meeting together, as well as additional tricks in the time we spent afterwards. Listening to him, I had managed to stay with the field and run inside the top-10, even when I couldn't see a damn thing down the backstretch. Maybe that's why I ran well – partial craziness.

He was also the reason why all four of us teammates were good here. He has continued to push our road course program to be stronger with his feedback. He tested here on behalf of Goodyear and shared all the data gained.

But all that wasn't the main thought on my mind right now. No, the thought I had was he just won, and he deserves to be celebrated – even if others wanted to say this was a gift for him.

So upon completing my post-race obligations – debrief, interview, a little hydration and snack, I knew I had to go find him to say what I had to say. I mean, he visited victory lane for me and truthfully, that was maybe the most – okay, one of the top-five memorable moments of the celebration when he laid the peck on my cheek.

Though as I reached where he was, I couldn't help but stop in my tracks in seeing the sight before me.

It was just weeks ago that it was revealed what he had done. It was just weeks ago that only anger and sadness was what Chase could think of. It was just days ago that he had mentioned working on trusting him just as a friend once again. But yet, here he was, standing right besides, and all the images would look like nothing had even changed.

"Congratulations," I hear Ryan say which is typical of any driver, right? I mean, okay, maybe it's just the jealousy or anger at him in what he could possibly do seething through.

"Thanks man," Chase replies, and I hope he's just enjoying the moment due to his own excitement over winning. Maybe that's why it wasn't the super tightest hug.

"Thanks for letting me come over last night. I really appreciated that." Wait, what? Did he just say what I think he said? Considering how upset and angry Chase was, he allowed that man to step foot into his motorhome last night? What did they do? Why did I care so damn much?

"Any time man. I wouldn't have wanted you to miss it." Think Alex, think Alex. There has to be a reasonable explanation – oh yes, Dave won the World of Outlaws. Maybe Ryan had stream issues as it has happened to me before. That would explain it. They just sat and watched TV – but what if more happened? I mean, they do have quite the history together.

"Hope we can spend some more time together, again. I miss you..." Okay, that sounds like more happened. I wonder if the race and stream issues excuse was the front to open the door, and then feelings took over – you know, he just fell on him like his lips fell on Isabelle.

"I miss what we had, too.." That sounds a lot more forgiving and willing to possibly take a chance then move forward. What if what he told me was a total lie? What if he just fed that to me in the moment, but in reality this will be my future again moving forward?

"Maybe one day, Chase. I know I have to earn your respect back and like I told you, I'm truly sorry for what I did." I watch as Ryan walks away with those words, and now my mind is so confused and wondering.

If something clearly happened more than intended, why would there be such sincere apologies? Why would they have the distance at the end, the same which has been felt from the beginning?

Then again, why would something even happen? Chase told me how angry he was. He told me he couldn't open that door, due to what Kaitlyn had done before, due to knowing the pain. He wouldn't allow himself to repeat past mistakes, would he?

"Alex?" His voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I look into those eyes, trying to read every question that I am asking myself out of them. "Are you okay?"

"Of course – you won!" I immediately let out, trying to cover everything immediately. There was no way I could let him know what I just saw, and thought for that matter. Sure, a couple words would clarify everything, but what if the ruined the dream bubble that I was in?

"I know you're happy for me, and that's why you came to see me, but I can also tell that something is on your mind." How was it humanly possible that someone could read you so quickly and easily, even if you weren't super super close yet?

"I saw you and Ryan just now. It made me wonder as to what happened last night, and what's to come, and how affects us." I had never lied to him, and I couldn't do that now. If I was going to down, I would do so swinging and truthfully.

"Do you seriously believe that I would go back to him so quickly? Do you seriously believe that I'd just forget the hell we've gone through for months due to his damn lies? Do you seriously believe I am ready to be played again? Gosh Alex, it seems every time I try to let you in, you question every single motive – whether I'm doing it due to feelings that aren't right, or due to Ryan." He was right, as it seemed every moment I was worried so far. Why couldn't I just be like Clint and others and just live in the moment?

"I guess because I've been hurt before and I'm scared of being hurt again. Like I told you, I've never done this before, but these feelings and connection I have for you are just so strong. That's what makes me want to try so hard, but yet so scared that I am seeing something that's not there or I am going to be hurt." We were supposed to be celebrating, not having a confession of emotions. Why had this turned into the Alex pity show?

"Alex, I can promise you this – I will never hurt you, ever. I'm actually glad that you're here as I wouldn't want to celebrate a win with anybody else." I couldn't help but smile. If I ever needed to hear something, those were the words that I needed.

"I'm glad, because I look forward to celebrating more wins with you in the future."