Hold on || dreamnotfound

chapter eleven

dream's point of view

Everything was broken.

The second George had asked that question, my whole world had stopped spinning and everything revolved around the fact that he knew something. He noticed my stupid, weird behaviour.

And that went deeper than any cut I ever made.

I could hear faint chatting but it almost sounded like they were miles away.
My mind was too far gone, still trying to comprehend what was happening, when George spoke up again.

"Stop it, Nick. Stop thinking of a stupid lie".

I froze in place. He knew it. He knew something and he wouldn't stop asking about it until we told him. With worry in my eyes, I tried to find Nick's eye contact, to no avail. The brunette was just staring down at his hands, maybe rethinking his choices, maybe trying to hold back tears.

My grip around the sofa tightened as I realized what was happening. Our friendship was being torn apart. Because of me.

I knew I would need to tell George eventually. At least something, so he would stop harassing Sap for it.

But even if I decided to do so, my body would refuse to help me. I could barely let any air flow into my lungs, let alone say a single word. All I could do was stare at the floor, hoping this horror would either end or that I would pass out.

With all the strength that was left in my body, I managed to turn my head to look at George, who was watching with a weird expression on his face. There were thousands of emotions but I couldn't catch a single one of them. The thought that I might've hurt him made my body tense up as my world began to get blurry again.

There were people talking, probably trying to help me, but I knew it was useless. I would either pass out or die and it was probably the best option anyways.

Accepting my faith, I closed my eyes, when a sudden force pulled me against something warm. I immediately realized that I was in George's arms, gasping for air and begging my lungs to allow me to breathe again.

"Help" I managed to get out between some coughs as I grabbed for the nearest thing I could find, trying to stabilize myself.

I knew they wouldn't be able to do anything but I still couldn't stop myself from begging for help. After what felt like an eternity of restless shaking and gasping, I was able to take a deep breath in, followed by a deep breath out and instantly relaxed into the one person I could never live without.

Everything was spinning and my whole vision was black. "I might... George... I'm- dizzy" I sobbed, hoping that he would somehow prevent me from passing out, even though there was no way to help me at that point.

He said something which I couldn't quite catch but I was almost a hundred percent sure that It was just a stupid promise that everything would be okay.

I felt bad for scaring him. I felt bad for not telling him what was going on. I felt bad for loving him. There were so many things I felt bad for, I couldn't even list them up in one day.

"I'm sorry" I quietly mumbled, praying that it would somehow help him forgive me, even though he had no reason to...
Some more words followed, but all I could understand was "... no need to... just relax".

I really tried to relax. But the fact that I was in the arms of my... love, made my body tense ups every second I remembered that fact. I felt his fingers gently grazing through my hair, twisting some locks and caressing my scull.

I could just fall asleep in his arms... We could cuddle and-

No! With one quick motion, I pulled away, not wanting to let another stupid thought slip through my brain. I needed to stop thinking about him or it would end up... bad.