Hold on || dreamnotfound

chapter forty

george's point of view
tw: talking about sexual assault

I could feel Dream slowly waking up in my arms, this time, not as panicked as a couple of hours ago. I was glad he apparently was better now.

He had woken up twice after tonight, the first time just to go to the bathroom, the second time having a panic attack.

His eyes seemed to immediately close again as soon as he opened them, causing his breathing to pick up slightly. Maybe he wasn't better?
I decided to step in.

"Dream? You're fine. You're with me," I whispered, gently running my fingers through his hair. He tried looking at me but immediately turned away. "Hey, what's wrong? Look at me," I tried to gain his attention.

He just continued looking away, his hands slowly leaving the safe hold they had in mine and wandering to his hair.

"Dream?" I asked, definitely getting more concerned by the second. The boy was now forcefully gripping onto his head while squeezing his eyes shut and I had no idea what to do. I felt powerless for I couldn't do anything to stop his thoughts, as much as I wished to.

"Can you hear me?" Another question that remained unanswered until he suddenly spoke up.

"Can't you just fucking leave? Please. Just fuck off," he breathed, curling up more than before.
But there was no way I would leave him now, when he was obviously going to slip into another panic attack any second.

"I won't leave you, Dream. You can-" I tried to talk to him but he interrupted me. "No! Just leave for fucks sake! I don't need you here! You don't make this any better!" he cried out, my heart shattering into a million pieces.

I knew it wasn't his fault. But it still hurt. For a second, I swallowed and tried to calm my feelings down.

Sapnap emerged into the room just seconds later, looking at me with a confused expression on his face. I just shrugged and stepped away from the bed so he could try to talk to Clay.

He carefully kneeled down enough for them both to be on eye level before hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder. The blonde heavily flinched immediately before curling up more, if that was even possible at this point.

"Hey. It's Sapnap. Can you try to look at me please?" He whispered and waited a few seconds until Dream finally opened his eyes. And what stood in them, wasn't what I had expected.

It wasn't the horror that was normally glossing over his eyes. No.

He seemed scared. Genuinely scared. Tears were quietly streaming down his face as his eyes flickered around the room. Was he looking for something?

"Clay. You're safe. Nobody is going to hurt you," Sapnap continued to talk until he finally gathered my boy's attention.

"They- I- help," he managed to say between gasps for air, indicating he was finally able to interact with us. I let out a relieved breath.

"Okay. Keep calm. You're having a panic attack. You know what we always do?" Sap asked but Dream instantly shook his head, refusing to think rationally. Or maybe he just couldn't.

"That's fine. That's totally fine, alright? I will help you," Sap whispered before talking him through the exercises he always did.

Seeing.
Hearing.
Feeling.
Smelling.
Tasting.

It took a bit longer than last time, but after quite some time, Dream relaxed into the bedsheets before finally looking at me. The feeling standing in his beautiful eyes hurt me even more than his previous words.