Hold on || dreamnotfound

chapter seventeen

george's point of view

I woke up by the sun shining through the windows in Dream's Penthouse.

My back hurt from the strange position I had been sleeping in. Slowly, I pushed myself in an upright position, having to orientate first.

I always had been fascinated by this short moment right after awakening, when you somehow forgot what happened before sleeping. When you were just satisfied and okay.

Now, that moment was over and all the memories of the previous events came back within one single blink.

Leave, George.

Dream's words were repeated endlessly in my mind, ripping my heart apart more and more every time.

Even more painful was the unconsciousness of his current state. What had happened after I had left the room? I'd only heard loud crying, probably from both of them, Sap and Dream. It had taken all my mental strength to stay downstairs and not sprint into the first floor to be there for my friends.

But I had remembered Sapnap's warning and the fact that I already had trampled all over it. It was all my fault that Dream had fallen entirely back into his depression.

Extremely exhausted and sad, I must've fallen asleep after their voices got more quiet, muffled by the distance between us.

I wondered what time it was since no one else seemed to be awake and one quick glance at my phone told me it was five in the morning.
If my mind hadn't been that messed up right now, I would have tried to fall back asleep. But the memories of the horror I had seen yesterday were keeping me awake.

I decided that I wouldn't fall asleep in case Sap or Dream needed me. I knew for a fact that they wouldn't want to talk to me, especially not Dream, but if there was anything I could do, I wouldn't hesitate a second.

With growing anxiety that I had ruined all those years of friendship, I made my way upstairs and sat down in front of Dream's room, listening to every just so tiny sound that came out of it.

It could've been three hours of just sitting there and listening to Dream's gentle sobs until I eventually fell back asleep, the guilt I felt creeping into my head and disturbing my peaceful sleep.

My body got shaken awake by two strong hands. I wasn't able to comprehend what was happening back then but it turns out that Sap had found me and decided it wasn't the best option to sleep on the floor.

"Come on. He'll be fine. We need to talk" his voice sounded from above before he helped me up and led me back to the living room.
I just sat down, scared of what he would tell or ask me. What would he do if he found out I kissed Dream, which was the only thing he asked me not to do? Would he kick me out? Would he tell me that all this was my fault?

The guilt was blooming in my chest while Sap sat down in front of me, obviously fighting with a wave of tears that were shimmering in his eyes. "George he-" the boy tried to explain but instantly stopped when he heard his shaking voice. "What happened at the beach?" He finally asked after a minute of calming down.

I didn't know if and what I should say while Nick was looking at me with an expression I had never seen before. It seemed like all the happiness had been drained out of his heart.
The one person that always saw the bright side and never gave up had lost his zest for life.
I just couldn't bring up the strength to tell him that it was my fault. Because it would make everything more real. More dangerous. And I would have to admit the thing that scared me the very most. That I had made everything worse, because I had been too selfish.