Hold on || dreamnotfound

someone to stay

last chapter :')
dream's point of view
tw: sh, blood

"I did something bad, Georgie"

It felt like someone punched those words out of me and George's sad expression made me feel even worse. Embarrassed, I absentmindedly tucked at my sleeve before looking back up at him.

"What did you do?" He asked, his voice carrying the result of tears that were threatening to spill as soon as I would reveal the truth.

Thinking back to last night, I totally regretted everything that happened after I woke up George.

Starting with the dark eye bags that were visible underneath George's brown eyes and ending with the fact that the next warm shower would sting painfully.

I sighed, watching tears fall down my lover's face as he eyed my arms. Of course he suspected something. Completely understandable due to the fact that I literally woke him up to tell him I wanted to do it again.

Still, a part of me screamed at me for making it that obvious. For giving in and telling them every just so tiny flaw.

"I think you know" I whispered, struggling to find the right words. He understood instantly, grabbing my hands softly before looking me deep into my eyes.

I looked away.

"Don't be ashamed please. I'm still proud of the progress you've made during the last month. You were clean for so long" his soft words danced through my head.

"But I ruined it"

He grabbed my chin gently, making me look into his eyes again. "You didn't ruin anything. We will just restart the journey. And if you somehow end up relapsing, we will just repeat that step over and over again" he whispered before pulling me close, his head resting on top of mine.

God if I would've somehow been able to stay here forever... just being held tight, not caring about anything or anyone else, I would've taken that opportunity.

But no matter how much I wanted it, it wasn't possible.

"Do you mind showing me where you did it? I won't judge. Just to make sure it's cleaned up properly" George spoke up after a few minutes of reassuring whispers and soft fingers dancing through my hair.

I did in fact mind. But what was I supposed to do at this point. He found out already.

So instead of being a dick, I gave him a quick nod.

"Alright, let's go to the bathroom real quick"

And with that, we stood up and made our way downstairs where George grabbed the first aid kit, earning a concerned glance from Sap.

"He knows" I complained as soon as we closed the bathroom door. "I fucked up, George. I fucked up so badly. He knows for fucks sake! God he was so happy and I ruined it-" George's finger on my mouth finally made me shut up.

Quietly, he started rolling up my sleeves to clean up the mess. I had completely forgotten that I didn't even bother to clean up anything last night. There was blood everywhere and the broken look on George's face made me wanna disappear.

"I'm sorry" was all I managed to say before he interrupted me again. "Stop it. I could say sorry for not helping you enough over and over again. But you wouldn't let me, right?" I nodded.

"Right. It's the same thing, Dream. I don't want you to apologize for something you have no control over right now"

I smiled shortly before he continued cleaning my arms. It took him about ten minutes to get the dried blood off without hurting me before he put the bandages on.