Hold on || dreamnotfound

chapter twelve

sapnap's point of view
tw: mention of self harm and eating behaviors , a lot of angst

"It's been going on for quite a time already, huh?" George asked while still stroking through Dream's hair, his gaze sticked onto the blonde.

"Yeah," I simply replied, not knowing what else to say. There was a tension forming between us since the moment Clay had closed his eyes and neither of us knew how to overcome it. So we just spent another few moments both looking at our sleeping friend.

I assumed that all this just had been too much for Clay. All the crying, all those feelings and sleepless nights. A breakdown like this had been inevitable for the fact that he was also overwhelmed by George's presence. He had never wanted the brit to come over in the first place and to be honest, I didn't know why I agreed without his permission.

It was a selfish act because I had wanted to meet George. I had wanted someone to talk to about how much this whole situation stressed me out. I had ignored the fact that Dream would be struggling even more and I felt so guilty for that.

"How did I never notice? As a friend, you should do so," George said, guilt and sorrow in his voice. For the first time since Clay passed out, he turned his head and looked at me. I could see tears twinkle in his brown eyes.

Shrugging, I looked down at Clay again. He seemed so relaxed, so peaceful, when actually he was the complete opposite. At least he slept now, which meant he could finally get a rest and distance from his venomous thoughts.

"It's hard to notice when you can't see the person's face, Gogs. It's not your fault." I assured, hoping it would finally convince him and lift some weight off his shoulders. The poor boy was still trying to get all those informations in his head.

George's gaze had wandered back to the sleeping Clay in his arms. He didn't seem to be convinced but still, he held our friend tight, almost as if he tried to protect him from anything that could possibly hurt him.

But you can't protect people from themselves.

George caressed Clay's cheeks, looking soo thoughtful and reflective that I wondered what was going on in his mind.

There was something about the way he looked at him, the way his face lit up and his whole posture changed when Dream entered the room. It was inconspicuous but strong, shy and intense at the same time.

"You love him, don't you?" I thought out loud, a slight smile forming on my face when George's head shot around, shock visible in his face. His eyes were widened and he started to shake his head, before admitting defeat and nodding, his eyes glued to the ground.

"I always have, I guess," he said, a sad smile rushing over his face as he gently played with Dream's hair again. I assumed he needed something to hold inside of his hands while admitting these feelings to me. As if it hadn't been painfully obvious all along.

I didn't like the words I would say next at all, but I knew I had to let George know in order to help Clay's recovery.

"Listen, George. I want you to know that I totally support your feelings, but I don't think a relationship between you two will be a good idea at the moment." George frowned at me in confusion and disbelief. I could entirely understand he didn't get what I was talking about. It didn't make sense to him for he didn't know what I knew.