Being a slut best friend

Do I remember that night

I hear voices loud and clflea but I cant see their face. my eyes wont open. I dont recognize the voices at all.

I try with everything I got and my eyes open to a white hospital room. I see the faces of the voices but I dont recognize anyone here.

"Oh my god Tazz your away!" A boy with dirty blonde hair or something like that says.

"Um do I know you?" I ask. his smile quickly turns to a frown and he calls in a doctor.

"What is your name, date of birth, age, and town you were born in?" The doctor asked. "I dont know." is all I said.

The doctor took the boy into the hall to talk. he soon returns with the boy. I feel a hand on my wrist and I yell in pain.

I look at the boy. and everything comes rushing back. it hits me like a big heavy rock.

Mikey is the one touching me. Luke is the one talked and stayed by my side the whole time.

"Get the fuck away from me you ass. dont touch me. you a cheater not a boyfriend. you dont think before you do something. do me a favor and crawl back to that slut." is what I yelled at him.

Luke came to hug me but I pushed him away. I started to feel the tears roll down my face. I went into a ball.

"Need anything Tazz?" Luke asked. I nodded. "what?" "Calum." is all I said. and with that Luke pulled out his phone.

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It was about an hour later after everyone had left. Calum finally walked in. all I did was smile and Pat the space next to me on the bed.

He gladly joined me. it was silent. but not a awkward silent like when I was dating Mikey. no this was a comfy silents. I liked it.

"Calum." I started the chat.
"Yes."
"Can I tell you something."
"Sure"
"I heard everyone talk when I was in the coma"
"Y-you did."
"Yes I couldn't move tho"
"What did you hear from me"
"I will if you will, that was once, I dont think I can."
"Ok that's enough"
"Calum what did you mean I dont think I can" I asked.
"Marie told me I should tell the girl I like...... well that I like her. but I dont think she likes me back."
"Oh Calum any girl who doesn't like you back would be a fool. they would be normal. oh God Calum you cant date someone normal."

That made him laugh. god I love his laugh, hair, eyes, how he hugs me, his soft touch. Tazz knock it off.

"Oh no it would have to be someone bonkers, crazy, lost their head, mad!" He yells.

I laugh. God why didn't I fall for this person along time ago. I want to kiss him so bad. but he likes some one else.

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It was the next day and I was released from the hell hole the devil made himself. Calum and Marie wouldn't shut up about how Calum should make his move on this girl.

God I'm dying inside. I want Calum to myself. I hate when other girls look at him. but I hate it more when he looks at other girls.

We finally got home. And lets just say I didnt go the way THEY planed. I threw a knife at Mikey. Yeah I'm still pretty mad.

There was a knock on the door. Luke went and open it. my back was to the door. the voice of the person made me freeze.

Oh god Luke got Nana. fuck I'm done for kill me now.

"Where is my cutie pie" she asked and then hugged me from behind.

"Nana how long you staying." I asked
"One week"
Oh god "well we will have ffun
"yep" she grabbed my wrist and I yelled in pain.

Nana pulled my sleeves up and saw my deep cuts. she looked at me with disappointment.

"I thought you said you would stop this. look how deep these are Tazz. why did you do it this time. there is no reason for this. it doesn't help the pain go away it makes it worse."

I felt tear starting to roll down my face. only Nana and Luke knew my real past.

"It reminds you of the pain. it hurts the ones you love. is this why you were in the hospital and went into a coma. because someone hurt you. so you made a big decision and hurt yourself. You want to end up like your brother." she kept going.

Tears are falling harder now. the memories coming all back.

"You want to do what he did. you want to harm yourself because of one bad thing. why dont you take it head on like you use to. you want you parents to be ddisappointed with you."

I look away. wanting her to stop. but no she kept going.

"Look at me in the eye. you turn your head like a coward. not wanting to face the fear in front of you. your just like your brother. your both lazy, good for nothing, stupid cowards."

She was now yelling in my face. me crying harder then ever. my head still turned. she would have gone on but Luke stopped her.

No one knew about my brother.

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It was later that night. no one asked about my brother. probably because I was crying. Nana is staying at a nearby hotel.

There was a knock at the door. I look up to see Luke.

"Call him" is all he said then walked away. I decide to call my suicidal brother.

I pull out and find his name.
'Danny Firwall' dang haven't seen that last name in a long time.

I dial the number. I dont hit the call button tho. will he talk to me. I dont know I put the phone down and go to sleep.

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I wake up and check my phone it noon. oh yea. I unlock my phone and the call screen pops up. I hit the call button and it rings then. He answers.

Him: this is Danny. who is this?
Me: um... this i-is your s-sister t-tazz.
Danny: Tazz long time no talk what made you call me
Me: Nana knocked some knowledge into me

I hear him laugh a bit.

Danny: do you remember that time she walked on me cutting
Me: that's not funny she beat you so bad you had to go to the hospital
Danny: or that time I humid off the bridge to end my life, or when I ran out on the highway, or I lit myself on fire, oh what about the time I put myself in the lions cage at the zoo
Me: Danny all of that was suicide attempts that failed. if you died would have too.

He then hung up on me. I tried so hard to forget about those things. after our parent killed themself Danny has never been the same.

We both watch them put the gun in their mouth. they made us count to three. and when we said three they pulled the trigger.

Blood went everywhere. we both thought they were playing dead till blood kept moving across the floor and they didnt move.

I was four and Danny was six. it was the worst moment of my life.