Stories Based On Taylor Swift Songs

SPEAK NOW: 44. Dear John

44. Dear John (12/18/20)

Ava couldn't see anything in the hallway.

It was late Friday night, and she had to stifle a yawn every few minutes. She had everything planned out, but hadn't expected to feel so drained. Despite her mood, she refused to give up. She imagined each step of the plan in her head, and she knew it would be easy. She just had to make certain everything went accordingly.

Ava slipped out the bedroom door and walked slowly down the hallway. She had spent the day, while John was at work, memorizing where the floorboards creaked. Now she applied that knowledge and avoided each crack and loose floorboard. The skirt of her dress swished back and forth as she walked.

Then came the stairs. If she listened hard enough, she could hear John snoring up in his room. Fortunately, he was a heavy sleeper and could sleep through a hurricane if need be. Ava took the steps one at a time, so as not to make any noise. The toughest part would be the front door.

She reached the bottom of the steps and grabbed the doorknob carefully. Earlier, after dinner, she placed a small pebble at the bottom of the door. It would be the only clue she would leave behind for John, unless he noticed the empty closets. But he never did.

Ava squatted and picked up the pebble. When she was outside and on the other side of the door, she returned the pebble to its spot. The night air bit and pecked at her bare arms, but the adrenaline coursing through her body kept her warm. But she couldn't celebrate just yet. She was still standing on the front porch.

Then, a noiseless black car pulled up in front of the house. Ava worried for a moment, until she remembered she had asked her mom to pick her up. She left the safety of the porch and climbed into the car, not bothering to look up at the house. She would never see it, or the man sleeping inside, ever again.

A few weeks passed. Ava had refused to think about John and their relationship, but at her darkest moments, the memories returned, haunting her like a ghost. She didn't regret her decision, and John hadn't tried to contact her since. Whenever her phone rang, she worried it would be him. But it never was.

To appease her mother, Ava started to attend a support group at the local church. Her mother lived a state away from John, so she didn't have to worry about seeing him any time she left the house. There was the growing belief that John would find her, track her down, and never let her leave him again. Even though she tried, Ava couldn't get those fears to subside.

She met with her support group on Wednesday evenings. She was the youngest member of the group. The other ladies had either been married or engaged. Ava was the only one who had lived with her boyfriend. The group leader, named Harriet, had been a victim of abuse in the past, and was able to help the other women in the group.

Ava hadn't had the courage to speak up about her experiences, but she was a good listener. Two of the women in the group had kids, and talked about whether or not they would get to see their kids in the aftermath of abuse. Another girl, who was a few years older than Ava, had been engaged to a guy with anger management issues. He had refused to get help, and took out his aggressions on his fiancée. Each time Ava left a meeting, she prayed and thanked whoever was watching her that she hadn't agreed to settle down with John. That she hadn't signed away her life to be with him. That she had gotten out in time.

At tonight's meeting, however, Harriet asked Ava if she wanted to share anything with the group. Ava bit her lip, thinking over what she wanted to say. The women were looking at her. She worried that her trauma and past relationship were not as serious as theirs.

"I'm Ava, I'm nineteen," she said, leaning forward in her chair. She tucked a piece of brown hair behind her ear. "And I left my ex-boyfriend, John, about two months ago."

"That's brave of you, Ava," Harriet said. "Would you like to tell us a bit about the relationship?"

Ava thought over her six month relationship with John. They had met through a dating app, and Ava tried not to worry when John lied about his age on his profile. She had just turned nineteen when they met, and John confessed on their first date that he was actually twenty-nine. Ava didn't think much of the age gap at first; her own parents were six years apart. But then she started to notice every red flag in the relationship. When she started posting pictures of her and John on social media, girls flocked to her messages to warn her about him. Her mother worried about John and the age gap between them. And Ava started to notice the condescending way John spoke to her, the games he played, and how he always seemed to come out on top. At nights when he stayed out late, she would cry herself to sleep, wondering what it would be like to have a normal relationship for once.

"We met eight months ago, after my nineteenth birthday," Ava finally said, and the group of women seemed surprised when she finally spoke. "I was in my freshman year of college, studying history. I had a roommate, and she had a boyfriend. I asked her where they met, and she told me it was on a dating app. So I signed up, and that's where I met John." She let out a sigh. "I should've noticed the signs. He lied about his age on his profile. There was a ten year age difference between us."

"I'm so sorry, Ava. Would you like to continue?" Harriet asked, brushing her scarf aside.

Ava nodded, trying to ignore the lump in her throat. "My mother was concerned. She didn't like John. But I just thought she was being judgmental. And when I posted pictures of John and me on social media, all these girls who had dated him before warned me about him. They said he was manipulative."

Some of the women in the group nodded. Ava continued, "But I wouldn't listen to any of it because the relationship was good, at the beginning. John showered me in compliments and told me he loved me. He took me out on dates, and I was happy. But then we moved in together. I had a dorm on campus, but I agreed to move in with him. And that's when everything fell apart."

"When was this?" Harriet wondered.

"We had been dating for four months." A single tear slid down Ava's face, and she quickly wiped it away. "It was terrible. I never knew what mood John would be in. Sometimes, we were good. We would go out, and I was happy. But other days he would be cold and reserved. He refused to talk to me, saying 'you wouldn't understand.' He played these games and would never let me win. So I knew I needed to leave.

"When he was at work, I memorized the creaks on the floor and made plans with my mom. She would pick me up later that night. Once John was asleep, I snuck out of the house and left with my mom. And once we got to her house, it felt like a weight was lifted."

A smile formed on Harriet's face. "That was very brave of you, Ava. Thank you for sharing that with us."

The other women nodded, responding and adding comments to Ava's story. Some of them had gone through similar situations with their boyfriends or husbands. As Ava listened to their stories, she didn't feel as alone anymore.